A Blessing: Numbers 6:24-26

The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:
The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

Blessed beyond measure.

I keep thinking that I need to post something, but I'm maybe just a little overwhelmed at how much love we've received lately from neighbors and friends. I couldn't get my brain around what I wanted to say. Mostly, I just want to say that this has been such a wonderful holiday. By and large, the children were very well behaved. There was very little arguing. There was no grumpiness about getting the right gifts or enough. We had so much in the way of extra unexpected love come our way. We are loved, and that is the best feeling ever - especially at Christmas. I am so grateful to be living here in this area. Our neighbors and church community have been attentive to our needs - I can't even begin to tell how wonderful they have been. The are Christians of the highest caliber. They inspire me.

The other thing I have been thinking of today is the sweetness of my children. Yes, they've had their moments. Yes, I've had frustration - but I've also had pure joy that has persisted and rested on our home for nearly three days. A will be three years old tomorrow. Her little voice and precious pronunciation makes every thing she says ring in my ears. I love to hear her express her thoughts and feelings. When she is very excited, she speaks very quickly and I realize that I am not quite fluent in her language, but I love every syllable nonetheless. Q has moods that swing with the hour, but mostly he's just said, "Mommy, I love you so much." He is so sincere and darling. It is good to see him settling in and feeling like home here. The big boys were touched at the outpouring of Santa's gifts this year. My 10 year old believes. That is so much fun. My 13 year old was grateful to those Santas that made his Christmas merrier. He was amazed, happy and grateful. If you have a teenager you know that those things don't often happen in the same sentence let alone the same day. E was such the quintessential almost 8 year old girl. She loves the mom role. She is affectionate (to near overload). She is precious with her younger siblings, and had a great time all day long. She dressed up for the trip to Grandma's.

This year has been so confirming. D and I have done the right thing. Last year, there was no peace at Christmas. This year, there was just happiness, love and relaxation. There was no angry stain on the day, no overhanging tension in the air, it was just wonderful. It was absolutely perfect and wonderful. I have no reason to regret our current course - although I know that future Christmas seasons will surely be more complicated. Life brings with it it's own sorrows and joys. If I didn't know the sorrowful days, I don't think I'd know to be able to say - Yesterday was splendid and perfect in every way. What a blessing.

It was a lovely Christmas. Today was lovely, too. I have to head back to work tomorrow, but it will be with a light heart. I am so happy today. I hope I can make it last a very long time.

Last day for Scentsy Christmas orders is . . .

December 15, 2008.

If you want something delivered to someone before Christmas, please let me know prior to that date. Also, if you live near me, I do have some things on hand so feel free to give me a call afterward as well, I just won't be able to do a Christmas order directly from Scentsy after that date.

What's this?

This is A's favorite thing to say.

"Mama, Hachatamelt."

What does she want?

(I'll edit the post later and tell you, but I'd love to hear what you think.)

Kate wins!

"Hot Chocolate Milk" - or as we in the big world say, "Swiss Miss".

Biking

This morning, after dropping the older kids off at school, my two youngest and I were driving home when I noticed something interesting on the side of the road.

I pointed and said, "Look Q, it's a guy riding a recumbent bike."

Q looked over and said incredulously, "Why?"

First of course, I laughed. It wasn't what I thought he'd say, at all.

Then, we talked about the why because as it turned out, he was very interested in it. After I finished laughing he said again. "Why, mom? Why would someone want to ride a bike like that?"

I thought that maybe it was a back problem, or because he thought it looked cool or it was fun to ride.

I don't know, anyone know why recumbent bikes are cool?

Time to make Dinner!

I'm not often home at dinner time these days. I'm often at work. So, tonight I am working on my attitude of gratitude. I am grateful to be the one preparing a warm meal for my family this evening. I am happy that I can hear their voices and direct their activities tonight. Two of them will soon be headed out to evening activities. This will be the best time of my day with them.

It is 5:46 p.m.

It is time to make dinner, and I am very happy to do it!

Life

Life involves passions, faiths, doubts and courage.

Josiah Royce

Leave a message.

When I was waking my 13 year old son this morning, he proved to me - once again - that his sizzling wit will be a very important part of getting him through the "rough stuff".

"Time to wake up, T . . .Come on sweetie."

nudge nudge

"Seriously T . . . you need to . . ."

"T is not available right now. Please leave a message. Beeeeeeep." 

giggle giggle

I, of course was completely unable to resist it - I about fell on the floor belly laughing.

That was a great way to start the day.

Silly Mom.

I went to the grocery store yesterday, and guess what I forgot, again. Dishwasher detergent. The irony.

Detergent.

So, I had a sink full of dishes and I was out of dishwasher detergent. It's Thanksgiving and I'm not in the mood to find a place to sell me some, so I turned to the internet. I sorted through a bunch of recipes and found a number of ingredients that I had on hand.

Baking Soda

liquid dish soap

lemon juice

I put a nickel sized spot of the liquid detergent in each side of the dispenser. I added about a teaspoon of lemon juice to each side and then filled the rest of the cups up with baking soda. It was a grand experiment. When I shut the door and pushed start I had flashbacks of the Brady bunch episode where the kids put regular dish soap in the dishwasher and have suds pouring out into the kitchen. That didn't happen, however. I did two loads this way today - both of them came out with good results. In each load there was at least one dish or pan that wasn't completely clean, but that sometimes happens with regular detergent as well. I was very pleased. It stirred me a little bit to find other things I could replace with less expensive homemade concoctions. Why not? It also made me think a little about how mentally dependent I am as a consumer on the products I use. I was glad to break out of the box a bit and try something new - and especially happy that it turned out so well!

All Gummed Up.

The following will someday be part of a movie, I'm sure of it. Truth IS stranger than fiction after all. My son told me this story on the way home from my parents' house last night. I laughed so hard I thought I might need to pull off the road. Driving under the influence of laughter, not always a very safe proposition.

Last month, my Dad and two of my sons (ages 12 and 5) were up on my roof. There had recently been a torrential downpour which had caused some leaking. We only knew about it because there was moisture around a ceiling fan in our family room. This upset the 5 year old beyond words. (He is still quite concerned about it. More on that later.) For some reason, a few drops of water on the ceiling spelled certain destruction to him. (I can't, unfortunately, say that it spelled hunky dorry for me either but I hadn't thought of calling in the US Army Corps of Engineers yet.) The fan area is directly below an attic vent on the roof. All of us big people figured that was probably the source of the water and sure enough - it had been installed incorrectly. My Dad, being a very practical man and knowing that kids often learn best  through observation, had taken two of my boys up on the roof with him to watch. The third must have been away because otherwise I'm sure he'd have been up there, too. As my Dad was laying a bead of caulk around the attic vent, his gum got a little stale and he decided to toss it over his shoulder. Q, my five year old must have been uncharacteristically quiet up until that point. He let out a wail and everyone turned quickly to see what was the matter. (They were up on the roof, you know.)

There he was, frozen in time with my Dad's discarded gum right between between his eyes. He did not understand what everyone seemed to find so funny and he continued to wail until the situation was rectified - which I'm sure was not nearly soon enough for him.

Yearbook Yourself

I've been meaning to do this for a long time, so without further ado here is a 1952 me:

Me in 1966:

How about 1968:

Now 1972, looks a lot like 1966 don't you think? I like the hair better. Can't imagine doing that but hey. It worked for them.





















Fast forward to 1990, which is a lot like the hair when I gradutated form high school:





















In 1996, I was a new mom - but this works for me.






















Luckily for me, I like this best of all. I think I even like this better than my Senior Portraits. I like this girl - she's grown up now. She is happy. She has 5 beautiful children and loves being with them. She has a job, and is grateful for it. She's also very tired and needs to get to bed.

Lighthearted.

Today, I was going through some things, getting papers organized and I decided that it was finally time to put my birthday cards away. I came across the card that Q, my five year old "made" for me. I put made in quotations because this is how the sweet card came to be . . . it was my birthday, and we were making preparations for a party.

"Mom, draw a picture of our family, and don't look."

"Don't look? I have to look at what I'm drawing or I can't draw."

"But I don't want you to see it! It's a surprise."

"A surprise, huh? Is if for my birthday?"

"Yes. I'm making a card for you."

"Okay, well then I have to look, but I'll draw the picture and you can do everything else. I promise I won't peek until tonight, okay?"

"Okaaaaaay . . . I guess you can look."

That brought me a good giggle today and I realized that I hadn't posted it yet so there you go, a good laugh.

I don't want to scare you but . . .

If you want to see what we are up against, go to  Mormons Stole Our Rights. It's pretty clear to me that the authors of this blog have at one time been members of the church. 

Or try the Freedom From Religion Foundation. Hmmmm . . . that's not what the constitution states, right?

The next item quotes numerous people with regard to the "failure" of Prop 8. If you are already freaking out, you may not want to read this one. It is pretty graphic in terms of how angry people are. . . which I don't think is a bad thing for us to know. We can't be naive about this. On the other hand, at the bottom, there are a number of other article links which will help you to see that we aren't the only ones in the battle. We are being singled out, but we aren't the only ones fighting for traditional marriage.

What I find interesting is that not one of the persons advocating taking away the tax exempt status of the church has mentioned what groups funded the "NO on 8 campaigns." It makes one wonder. Should we look into that? I mean seriously. I bet it wouldn't take much digging to find that the actual law was violated - and not just the "spirit of the law".

Here is my opinion. Take away the tax exempt status of the LDS church! Please! I can't imagine a greater blessing! The actual church leaders will then be free to lobby anyone they want, be as involved as they feel necessary - ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - and do whatever they please with regard to maintaining laws in the United States. It won't hurt the church. I wouldn't be surprised if they were ready for all of this long before they encouraged church members to rally in support of Prop 8. 

There were a lot of threats made, and what I see happening is that it will become more and more difficult to attend the temple - but we will continue to go.

More than likely, a Temple will be vandalized or there will be concerted efforts to destroy one soon. What will that say? It will probably get some attention. It won't go unnoticed. In the end it will serve good far more than it's instigators anticipate.

Weddings will become more private affairs for church members, rather than openly celebrated events - for protection of those involved. It will only take one wedding photo session, or reception being attacked to move us in that direction.

We will continue to practice our religion.

The first article offered people an opportunity to join a "mass resignation" from the church. I think many will leave the church over this. This will sift the general membership of the church a great deal. 

So, I'm asking again. Are We Ready? 

Are we ready?

Today, I think is the beginning of many changes in our world. Are we ready? The Proposition 8 battle isn't over no matter what the outcome is today. There are similar ballot measures in Florida and Arizona, as well.

Like I said, this is just the beginning. This is the issue that will divide our nation. Twelve years ago I wrote that very thing in my journal. I never dreamed it would come so quickly, though.

Where will you stand today? Where will you stand as the battle heats up? Early Christians were severely persecuted, and often killed, for choosing to stand with Christ. Where will you stand?

I don't vote today on any of those ballot measures, but I will watch with interest. It is certainly a battle which will soon come to my state. It will come to all of us. We will be called the vilest of things by people who are seeking "tolerance." By this world, we will be seen as evil and our hearts judged and found wanting. We can look forward to the things of a better world. We can rely on Christ. We can stand up for Him.

Churches have been criticized for their interest in this issue, which is ironic. There are groups out there, well funded and well organized, working full time to eliminate the family as we know it. They are pouring money into this day in and day out. You probably won't hear their names on the news. I'm not talking about gay rights groups either. You can find them if you look for them. It will scare you, and that could be a good thing. Are we ready for this battle? Are we treating this as a battle? Our opponents are, and they aren't going to stop today, no matter what the outcome is today. 

Alright now, on a lighter note, my five year old son needs me, and so I need to go. He says that 'Moms don't go on computers, and I need to come'. I think he's right - at least that I need to help him out. He even said please.

Energizer Bunny

This has been one of those days. Halloween alone is enough, and thankfully I had the day off. T & Q also had the day off, which we all enjoyed. I missed one appointment today, and didn't even remember that I had missed it until about 10 p.m. Sometimes holiday activities cause me to completely draw a blank when it comes to other schedule items. Today, the Halloween Parade at school blacked out everything else. It will be fine. That's not really the problem.
The problem is that this day needed about 36 hours to give me any chance of pulling everything off. Seriously. I had errands to do, orders to place, clients to communicate with above and beyond all the regular Halloween fanfare. The list just went on and on and got longer as the day progressed. For example, before I left home for the errands Connor's doctor called and said that the Radiologist saw some things on the x-ray of Connor's lungs that he didn't. He needed anti-biotics. I could have told him that. Viruses eventually give up or start getting better - and this one wasn't giving Connor much of a break. Just something else I could take care of at Target.
We have made it through in good shape except for the projects which are still waiting patiently for me - and which have to be completed by tomorrow morning. Have to. I have to take the projects with me for a client to pick up sometime tomorrow afternoon. For the most part, they are simple and it is just a matter of getting it done sometime before I need to leave for work at 9 a.m. . . . and for some reason, I thought I'd be able to squeeze some of it in while D had the kids out trick or treating.
Right.
I said something back there about placing orders. Thank heaven for that on a few levels. I had already paid my bills this morning. I keep them in a fun little magnetic pocket on my refrigerator. When I was placing the order, I noticed that the my debit card expired TODAY. I went looking for the new one, and while I was digging around in that pocket I found a bill that still needed to be paid. Tender mercies. I also realized that nearly every card I carry had a more current card in that pocket waiting to be activated. I took care of the mail which has been piling up in the mail bin (which is where I found the new debit card). I got them activated and cut up all of the old ones. I feel totally fresh. My order is in, my bills are paid and if it weren't for the fact that I have quite a few hours of work still before me, I'd relish that. I'm just glad it's done.
I do want to add how much I love these children I've been blessed with. A was so excited about dressing up and made it about half way through the trick-or-treating. I had more candy to eat tonight than any of the kids did - and they are all sleeping now, but one. It has been a crazy crazy week. That is why I named this post Energizer Bunny. This day, and the entire week, just keep going and going and going - I hope that I have the stamina to keep going with it.

And then some.

This was my day off.

It wasn't in the least bit restful. This morning I headed down to IKEA to pick a TV stand up for my sister. It had already been sold, sad for sis. Q got to be in the play area, however, which he loved. I was able to find what I was looking for in the form of a lamp. I also got a few inexpensive clocks for the living room - and that room is finally starting to feel like a place to be reckoned with. Niiiiiice.

After that, I dropped Q off at kindergarten. Before leaving home, I made arrangements to pick up some contact lenses from the Costco by my Mom's. I went to get those and then headed for the early voting. It was obvious to me by the number of cars parked along the curb, and people walking toward the building that the wait would be far too long. I went home, unloaded all of my goodies and looked up the other locations. There happened to be another along the route back to Q's school, so I stopped there, telling myself that if there was any line at all, I couldn't stop. The parking lot was far from full, and there was no line. I voted and made it to Q's school right on time. That was the real miracle of the day. I went in to pick up Q and noticed that parent teacher conferences were coming up, called my boss for my work schedule next week, and set up a time. On the way to E's school, I called to have her meet me out front at their PT conference sign up tables. I also called T to find out where he was en route so that I could pick him up. The conference times for C & E were during my work hours next week, so I called D and asked if they would work for him and he will be attending their PT conferences.

As I was running around, it occurred to me that we already had crock pot roasted chicken breasts in refrigerator so I warmed them and made some mashed potatoes and heated up some green beans. (We ate just in time for Grandpa to arrive to finish repainting the outside trims around our doors and Garage door. I don't know what my favorite thing is, the new sprayer at the sink & water line to the ice maker in the refrigerator that D put in, or the new paint around the doors. Suffice it to say that these things have all been pleasant changes and I am very very happy for all of them.) As I suspected, the time together was very short, but it was good.

At six I arrived at the home of a couple downtown. I only made one wrong turn, but it worked out okay in the end. We checked everything over and I made a number of suggestions. We went to a couple of stores, and found some amazing glass pieces that will be fabulous in their bedroom. It was really fun, and thankfully they are on a really similar plane when it comes to my suggestions. That makes everything easier.

When I got home, I got the boys to bed - for some reason, the girls wouldn't go. They watched me change the light bulbs - in the process I found a couple more that needed changing. It is really nice to have that done. Other than that, I did not one whit of housework. I have quite a bit of house work and design work ahead of me this week. It's okay, though. It was a very
happy and productive "day off".

Busy Day.

This is my day off.

It won't be too restful, however. This morning I'm headed down to IKEA to pick a TV stand up for my sister. I'm also going to think about a lamp option for my living room/piano while I'm there. (If I'm going there, there will be some shopping.)

After that, I'll drop Q off at kindergarten. Q's school is very close to my mother's house, where I will leave the TV stand.

On the way home, I will stop at a fire station where they are doing early voting. My mom said that she had voted yesterday and it was like a little bell went off in my head - "Oh, yeah. I could do that tomorrow. Avoid long lines next Tuesday. Ding. Good answer."

When I get home, I'm going to replace dead light bulbs around the house with some purchased at . . . IKEA. That's reminds me, need chocolate from IKEA, too. The chocolate will come in handy after I do the cleaning and laundry that has been calling my name lately. I will probably try to squeeze some Lasagna into the oven, too.

Quinn will need to be picked up about three, then Turner, then Elynn, . . . and we will all be home again.

I will enjoy my children for a short while, eat together.

At six, I have an appointment to do some interior design work for a couple downtown. Need to google their address so I don't get lost. That will be fun. I need to remember to bring my notebook. I now have a total of three clients! I am excited to have some people who want my help with design. Little by little, things will come together.

When I get home it will be time to get the kids ready for bed, read scriptures, have family prayer and get to bed.

Better get going, IKEA opens in an hour and I'm not even dressed yet.

Just for kicks, I'll report back tomorrow on what I actually accomplished. That should be fun. You know what they say about the best laid plans.

Happy day off.

Awin speaks.

I asked Awin (as she says her name) what she'd like to do this afternoon. She thought for a moment and said, "TEE BEE. . .DEE BEE DEE!" She had been carrying around the DVD of Barbie's Pegasus for a little bit. We had already done some laundry together, read books in bed  and played "This little piggy" and "itsy bitsy spider" for a good while. She had had a bath, eaten . . . and so DEE BEE DEE it was. She needed a Pi-Woe and Bane-tet and then she was completely comfortable. I sat there admiring my precious little girl . . . the "wight" of my "wife". . . until she smiled and said, "Momma, Doe Way!"

She WAS completely comfortable. For the first time all day, she needed not a whit of help and she wanted me to know.

Love that little girl.

I Awin.

A little hilarious moment brought to you by my nearly 3 year old daughter.

I said to her, "Baby girl, you are the light of my life."

She replied, instantly, "Momma, I not wight. . . I Awin!"

I couldn't help but laugh, and I hope it brings you a chuckle, too.

Finally, something they will all EAT!

"Mom, I totally love this and I am not kidding." 

That's what my 12 year old said at dinner tonight. I was elated. This is not an easy child to please, when it comes to food anyway. The kids made me promise to make it every time I don't have to work on Sunday,df all winter long. That's a deal, because besides being tasty - it's simple!

Chicken and Dumplings in the Crock pot

4 to 5 frozen chicken breast straight to the crock pot. (See, EASY!)

Cover with 6 cups water & 3 Chicken bullion cubes (or Chicken broth - you could make this low salt if you are sodium sensitive).

Sprinkle in: (I just took one good pass across the entire surface of the water) 

Sliced dehydrated garlic cloves

Montreal Steak Seasoning

Costco's salt free poultry seasoning

Cook on high a few hours then add:

1 1/2 to 2 lbs. mini carrots

Prepare dumplings ahead of time, refrigerate and add the last hour before you plan to serve

Dumplings:

2 cups flour

4 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. melted butter

1 tsp. salt (I used ground sea salt)

1 egg, beaten

3/4 cup milk

Not all of my culinary experiments are this successful. In fact there have only been a handful. This one certainly qualifies however. The other dinner time comments tonight were:

"This is the best soup in the world!"

"Can we have this every day?"

"More Tarrots!"

"It's delicious!"

I guess it might as well be Mother's Day, huh?

I'd love to tell you that I got the job.

But I didn't. I didn't even get an interview. It's okay, though - truly. The Lord has truly been providing for our needs and for some reason, I feel like I need to be where I am. That is enough for now. I'll keep following through on possibilities, but I really am content in the place He has put me - I don't imagine it will be forever and that is probably the thing that makes it day to day livable. (Other than I work with some very fun people.) At some point, the Lord's plan will include something else and I'll be ready for that, too.

Link.

The link to the photos of my application projects is now embedded in that post.

No Small Miracles Need Apply.

First, the words to 'How firm a foundation':

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In every condition, -- in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale, or abounding in wealth,
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea, --
The Lord, the Almighty, they strength e'er shall be.

"Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

"E'en down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never, forsake!"

Text: Isaiah 43:1-7
Author: "Keen",1787, alt
Composer: Bernhard Schumacher, 1931
Tune: "Firm Foundation"

This has always been one of my favorite hymns. My sister spoke about it in church on Sunday, very eloquently. The children were quiet enough during the meeting that I was able to reflect upon all the ways my own prayers have been answered through this particular hymn's words. It is especially applicable in my life right now. The Lord has sustained me through the deep waters, through the fiery trials, and caused me to stand. That is not to say that I believe those trials are finished or that the waters have receded - simply that I can see His hand at work and I am amazed.

To fully tell the story of the day, I need to go back to March. There was a contest I felt compelled to enter. I'm not sure why - I simply felt that I should put together an entry. It was: Three Scrapbook Pages, Five Cards and Two three dimensional items. It took nearly ten days working almost non stop. I fed and bathed the children, but generally let them run amok during that time. The house and I were a complete disaster. It took longer than I imagined, including a few very late nights - or should I say early early mornings. The entire time, I was compelled. For some reason I didn't understand, I knew I had to do it. I had to finish it.

So, fast forward to a month ago. The company I sent the contest entry to is quite near my home, about 10 minutes. I have a few acquaintances working there, one of them with considerable responsibility. She called me near the end of August to let me know that there was a job on the company's website that she thought I should consider applying for. I hadn't been checking the site for postings lately, but it had been one of my first choices when I was looking for a job. I was stunned and I thanked her profusely. 

The job looked quite involved, but appeared to be something that I could handle. When I got to the bottom of the listing there was a note. Samples of personal work would be part of the application:  Two Scrapbook Pages, Five Cards and Three three dimensional items. All due September 30th. At first I thought, "There is just no way I could get this done. Look what it took last time, and I am now working full time, to boot. Then this little voice reminded me that I had done it before - and I could do it again." A little time goes by with me too petrified to even begin - until I get to those last 10 days. I felt very inspired when I did the entry. This time the work just flowed. I started and finished project after project. I never wasted any time on 'not knowing what to do next. When I got stuck, I'd move back and forth between the remaining projects. 

During the ten days, most often I went to bed at regular time without setting foot in my work area. One night I was up until Eleven, once until midnight. I was exhausted already and the most I could do was tend to my children. I would say to myself, "I am not going to put more energy into this than I can afford. I have to be smart. If I finish, I finish. My health and children are more important." Monday night, I had started two scrapbook pages and had an idea what I'd do for the 3D projects. It was my first night with the kids in a long time, though and I wanted the time for them. We had family home evening - and when we were done, the house was clean and we had read scriptures, prayed, and played Wii for about an hour. We had a great time together. I knew I made the right choice. Tuesday, September 30th was a day off from work for me, and I woke up early and worked for about an hour before the kids needed to get up for school. It was a miracle day. My mother took my youngest about Eleven so that I could finish up. It was the only time I needed extra help (also different from March). The pages came together quickly and I was very pleased with them. Things seemed to come together in miraculous ways, especially when I was doing small processes that needed to be exact. Normally, I'd need to make try after try to get it just right, but on Tuesday - it was just 'right'.

I realized that I had already done some good 3D work for the classes I taught in the Granite School District this year. I framed one of them (I just happened to have the right frame on hand) and that left two pieces with 3 hours to work. Part of that time was absorbed my children, getting them home from school, refereeing squabbles, etc. At about 15 minutes to 5 p.m. I placed the rest of my projects in the box and headed out. My seven year old daughter E came with me - she thought because I wanted the company, which is true, but I thought she would be safer where her whining wouldn't be considered a capital offense. ) Twelve year old brothers really hate little girls' whining.

About three minutes from home I had a sinking feeling. I had left my smallest 3D project at home on my desk. I knew that I wouldn't get there in time if I turned back, so I forged ahead. Upon arriving with stress dripping from my fingers, I explained my predicament. The ladies at the front desk sweetly suggested that I could bring the piece for the night watchman, and he could place it on the front desk. I told them I lived a little more than 10 minutes away, and could be back within half an hour. One of the women said she'd still be there - and so my race was on, again. When I brought the little box in, she smiled. She placed it in the box and said, "You made it." 

Thinking back on that moment is really ethereal for me. She couldn't know this whole story, but there is someone who knew. It is as though I can hear a voice echoing in the heavens, "You made it." It means so much to me. It was no small miracle. My children and I were better cared for this time around. My house was cleaner. I was calm while I worked, and happy with the results. (You can see photos now HERE.)

Here's the best part. I have no idea what this is all about. Like with Tai-Pan, it could be simply an exercise. I may not hear from them at all, and that is okay. As miraculous as this story is to me, there are things at work and with Scentsy that have been just as amazing. (I truly mean that. He is causing me to stand.) I'm willing to take on the challenges the Lord sends my way. I grow and learn from them. I don't need them to mean anything. If they do, I will be grateful at the way He is directing my life - the same as I already am. I will just keep being grateful.

Happy

A number of people have told me that I look happier lately. Many of them were very surprised at how happy I looked. Yesterday, my sister told me that she sees a difference in my home, too. Not that it was ever "dirty", but things just seem to be more in place than they have been in the last couple of years.

It isn't so much that I've spent a ton of time on myself, or cleaning the house (although I did clean on Saturday night). I realized that, although I wasn't a complete mess and I still enjoyed life - I was carrying some intense and excruciating burdens over the last couple of years and it showed in my countenance and in my home. Those burdens are gone now. I still have burdens, but they are new burdens. They are heavy but they don't feel so overwhelming. I am happy. I had been surviving emotionally day to day for a long time. Finally, I have come to a place where I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. It's not that anything big has changed in the last month or so, I'm just at peace. I have turned control over to the Lord. I feel healthier emotionally. I'm not worried for the future or even trying to figure out what He has in mind. I don't waste much time on those things. I don't have it to waste. I have better things to do. 

No from Tai-Pan.

It's a little weird, considering how well my interviews went. I'm wondering if they are trying to see where I'd fit in another way because they talked about so many ways they'd like to use me. I'm not really concerned about it.
When you accept that the Lord is in charge, it is easier to let go of things like this. Most of my contentedness at this juncture is wrapped up in the faith I have in Christ. I don't know what he has in store for me. I know that the turns life has taken lately have been huge. I hope that I can stay close enough to the Spirit to maintain some balance. There are so many things moving in my life, almost all of which I have no control over. Some of the things I thought were rock solid seem like quicksand to me now. I have to let go of things that aren't helping me do the work I need to do. A lot of that work is mental. I've had to clear out room in some of my emotional storage bins, too.
Life is just crazy, isn't it? I married Dan 15 years ago, and assumed that part of life was settled. Now, he watches our children while I'm at work, and I'm his Scentsy lady. Our relationship has changed a lot. It's okay. Most of the time, it's good. The kids have good days and bad days, which really is pretty normal. Major breakdowns are getting less common. We are all growing a lot.
Right now, I think it's high time I get to bed. I will enjoy sleeping in tomorrow and just doing some plain old household chores. In the afternoon, I'll be doing a Scentsy Party, which will be fun. It is in my own neighborhood, and many of my friends will be there. It will feel like time to myself in many ways.
Here's to friends, to growth, to trusting in the Lord with all our hearts.

What year do you belong in?

You Belong in 1953

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Update.

I haven't heard anything on the job yet, I just wanted to let you know.

My birthday was full of ups and downs. I had a long nap with A in the afternoon, after a morning of errands completed to a seemingly full orchestra a whining and complaining. By the time we got home, I wasn't feeling well at all. I gave up on all the grand plans I had for my birthday and hence the nap. When I woke up, T was offering to make dinner and I readily accepted his plan. That was a wonderful turn of events. By the time we were eating, my extended family was starting to arrive for the party. The children played and the adults chatted. We had cake and ice cream. It was fun. My family loves me. As alone as I feel sometimes, I know that I am far better supported than anyone I've ever known who has gone through a divorce. I've made it through the anniversary and my birthday. School will be in full swing, with all of the school children in class on Monday. I'm glad that we've had such a leisurely pace getting everything organized. E has started Orchestra and really enjoys "her violin". T believes that Jr. High was a gift from above. Q in all over kindergarten and C will be glad to get back to his friends - home is boring.

Personally, I have never been under more stress or pressure. There are cracks on the surface of my life. My lawn needs to be mowed and the laundry needs to be folded, but for the most part, we are doing well. (I mean, those are the kinds of things that anyone can say, right?) We are surviving. Sometimes, it feels better than surviving and sometimes it feels like I'm going down waving my white flag. Honestly, though, those times are few. Although I know we'll be having more of them as we get all of the details of the divorce worked out, I'm hopeful that as this hammering phase comes to an end we will be able to have more peace in our lives. At any rate, today I feel good. I really felt like getting to my work this morning, which is a good sign. After the cake and ice cream last night, my stomach is a little achey this morning, but that's about it. I'm okay. 

I am an ENFJ.

What are you?

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

I've also done the Keirsey Temperament Sorter and came up with the same designation. I think if fits me pretty well.

Just something fun to try out in your "spare time". Right. Just make some time for yourself because you know you deserve it, and need it and CRAVE it. It's good for you!

Possibilities

I've had a possibility come up in the last week or two which is somewhat exciting for me. Whether it happens now or later, I will be happy. I already feel like I'm moving in a direction - somewhat like floating down a river. The current is strong, and I have to pay attention, but it is moving me along. About two weeks ago, a girl called me from a company that I thought I'd like to work for, and had submitted an application to prior to taking the job at Z Gallerie. She described the work available, and it didn't sound like what I wanted to do so I told her that I would probably be interested in a design related position - at which point she said - "Oh, you're my designer - I wasn't looking very carefully. Actually, this is what I wanted to talk to you about." She proceeded to describe something very much along the lines of what I had in mind. She asked me to come in for an interview, which went extremely well. When I spoke with her next, a little more than a week had gone by and she said they had been swamped, but that she wanted me to come in for a working interview sometime next week. She called today, and told me that she had called me very first of all because she wanted me to be one of the first ones that the designers met. (You have got to love that.) I will probably have to work on my birthday next week (I had asked for it off), but I think it will be worth it to be able to go into the interview on Tuesday. I wouldn't mind at all. I hope that I'm able to do well. It would be a fantastic position, letting me work in my field but with better hours, and fixed schedule - no Sundays. Also, the pay would be better and there will be more opportunities to grow. I could eventually be one of the lead designers for store, creating the vision of what it would look like and feel like for the customers. That is exciting to me, and not just because it was one of my favorite places to begin with. All that and it is about 1.5 miles from my parents' home rather than the 10 to 12 miles it takes to get to the Gateway where I am currently. That's about 100 miles a work week - and about one tank of gas in three weeks. How can you beat that? There is just not a downside except that I wouldn't see my friends anymore, and they have been so great. I would really miss them. On the other hand, those that know me and my situation have all said that if it comes through, I have to go for it and I can't look back. I can't for one minute think that working with them is more important than the chance for such a good move. I have to agree. I feel really blessed to have this opportunity to try - whatever the outcome. I honestly believe that I'll be happy either way. I have trusted the Lord to lead me by the hand, and he has.

And now it's time to feed my children.

Have a wonderful day!

Imagine.

My daughter E, is seven and a half years old and is equipped with an imagination which extends her actual reality far into the future. Today, as I dressed I heard the following (in a very teacherly tone) coming from the next room. 

"Kids, you have to take care of the animals.

If you want to be a good animal take-care-of-er

you have to be nice.

You have to be nice.

You have to talk to them."

I thought it was pretty good advice for being a good child take-care-of-er as well. When I went into the room to greet my sweet little animal caregiver, she smiled the biggest smile I've seen in a long time. It was really darling. I told her I thought she was a very good teacher and asked her if I could put her advice on my blog. She said that it was fine. Lucky you!

Be it unto me.

I have been a little bit surprised at how crazy life has been with my three oldest in the past week. They've been doing so well for the last six weeks, and I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. C and E have been back in school for 2 weeks. I wasn’t factoring in that school anxiety that always seems to hit when the newness starts to wear off. I am now even more grateful and amazed at how important it was to have things happen in the order that they did. I can see that if they had been in school when Dan moved, it would’ve just been far too much for them to handle at the same time. In hindsight, those things that I recognized as small miracles seem like mountains moved just in the nick of time. What incredible blessings. I knew that they were important, I just didn’t realize HOW important until now. It is very interesting to me that it wasn’t until I had given up that timeline that the Lord seemed to step in and make it all happen, anyway. Can I be that way with all my dreams? That has been my prayer lately. “Lord, I only want what you want for me.” Mary said, “Be it unto me according to thy word.” It is the attitude I want in my life right now. When we trust in the Lord, we can know that whatever we must pass through, it will lead us to Him. It is enough.

I never would have guessed this! I'm Pocahontas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

LOUD!

This morning my eldest son, T was at the table with us, reading scriptures before the C & E (out two elementary kids) had to leave for school. These two school babes were multi-tasking, eating breakfast while we read. T was overwhelmed by the noisy eaters, and complained loudly that 'he couldn't take it anymore and they must stop their smacking, immediately.' To this I roared with laughter, and he was shocked, until I told him the story of my sister, C. She has always had the kind of hearing that would put most humans to shame. It seems not a meal in my parents home that went by with out complaints of smacking, clicking spoons, chomping . . . there are to be sure a plethora of adjectives that she used - but these are the ones that quickly come to mind. My favorite incident, however, and the one that convinced me of her beyond human hearing ability was the time I was up a little late on the computer, which happened to be located in the room directly above her bedroom. There was a commotion and I soon heard through the floor, "Could you please stop typing so LOUD!"

Ah, . . . those were the days.

Just a little update.

Tomorrow will be the fourth day of school, and so far everything is going very well. The fact that August starts on Friday is more than just a bit overwhelming to me. I can hardly believe that time is going so fast. I just can't. They say that time flies when you are having fun, so I must be having an absolute BLAST! I' m making some good headway getting  things organized in the house. I swear Angels must be helping out because things just don't happen like this in my life. Usually, it takes me so long just to pull one project together it's almost scary to even think about thinking about starting something. That's the way life is with many children needing my attention and assistance in a constant and urgent manner. I know that I've been very blessed. Things have come together in such a way that I've been able to complete in days what in my past life (pre-full time job) might have taken weeks to pull together. (I'm not even slightly joking.) Everyone has been in the right place at the right time. I had the boys settled in their new bedrooms, and E comfortable in her new room, by the time school started. That just doesn't happen for me. It feels like I'm living someone else's life - but I'm so glad it's mine!

The kids are doing well. It is such a relief. I know that there will still be hard days and moments when they just seem to be overwhelmed by all that has happened. Truthfully though, the drama around here has subsided in a very obvious way. They have questions and I do my best to help them understand. The calm is still interrupted by a noisy tantrum once in a while, but over all, it has been great. I'm so glad that the timing of everything came together. It was SO out of our hands, but worked out exactly as I had felt that we needed it to. The kids were able to adjust a bit to D living elsewhere before school started. It is hard for them to have me working, but D is here whenever he can be at night and my parents have been loving them in the day. They are incredibly loved, and I think that they know that. They seem stable and calm, which under the circumstances is just a miracle. I couldn't be more grateful for this place in our lives and how much better than worst case scenario it has been. 

A funny Q-ism.

Tonight when D was here, Q convinced him to watch a movie. When his Dad agreed, Q declared, "Mission Concomplished."

I loved that. It was the best part of the day.

Fill the world with Love.

This is from the musical, "Goodbye, Mr. Chips"
I think the song is very inspiring. I want to hang the words somewhere in my home to remind me
to be brave
and strong
and true
and to fill the world with love my whole life through.
I think these things are the key to happiness.

Without further ado, the words to the song. . .

In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise.
At a moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me,
To be brave
and strong
and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine,
At a moment in my life when the sky is blue.
And the blessing I shall ask shall remain unchanging.
To be brave
and strong
and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due.
And the question I shall ask only I can answer.
Was I brave
and strong
and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

Did I fill the world with love
Did I fill the world with love
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

Update.

Well, we measured to see if both beds would fit in the new bedroom. We got all of the things off of the desk in the new bedroom and almost moved the computer. We pulled weeds in the yard and did a couple of loads of laundry. We moved the clean laundry out to the family room to be folded. We ate two meals. I wrote in my journal, downloaded a song from iTunes, got dressed and got everyone else dressed. These things are of course in no particular order. Q had a bloody nose in his sleep. That left a big mess on all of the bedding, so I spent some time cleaning that up. (Shampoo scrubbed in well, then rinsed with cold or warm water. It was a miracle and the bedding was saved.) About 5 p.m. I got together my errands and called my friends one more time.  We took care of things and then went to IKEA to eat and got a few things for the boys' rooms. I think that IKEA was the only thing on the list that actually happened - and that due to the fact that Q was adamant about his meatballs, french fries, and sauce. We HAD to go. Most of my list is still there waiting for another day and that's just fine. There had to be a few difficulties, but working them out was important - just as important as the task themselves. I recognize our need for scripture study and prayers. Those things just cannot be put off. They are so important to how things "feel" around here. I think it actually makes "the" difference between okay, good and great days. We all need that little extra calm the Spirit brings and that's the best way to get it. Now, it's time for bed, because T really is motivated to get the beds moved upstairs tomorrow. I told him that until all of his things are out of that room, C is sleeping upstairs because I'm not going to have him left in a mess. I thought that was some of the best reasoning I've ever come up with - and T agreed. He really wants his own space. I'm glad that we can do that for him. In the meantime, a little unselfishness is in order until we can get things worked out and situated. It all takes time and energy. Those are the two things that I have completely run out of right now.

Goodnight.

Of Princess, Stink Rocks and Self-Inflating Whoopee Cushions.

This is my first day off in 10 days. Hallelujah for that! I woke up and thought, "What do I need to do this morning? . . . That's right, NOTHING!" I lounged happily in bed and relished the time to play with my little ones. My little A has a new thing, which I discovered immediately. I called her by name and she said, "I not A, I Princess." Knowing A - the change in her name was inevitable. She is a Princess in only the most positive of ways and it will be my great pleasure to adhere to her wishes.

The second joy of the morning was Q and the Self-Inflating Whoopee Cushion that C brought home from Cub Scout Camp yesterday. Ingenious! All the fun and none of the work. Q was having such a great time playing with it, he nearly brought me to tears I was laughing so hard. It's great to see a little boy relax and work out some of the craziness of his world. Heaven knows he's had his share of craziness lately.

Finally it was time to get some breakfast, so I headed for the kitchen where another gem from Cub Scout Camp was introduced. Stink Rocks. In case you are unfamiliar with this brand of fun, I will explain. There are two round marble sized "rocks" which you click or scratch together to create a spark which releases some smoke - which although not completely foul is not especially pleasant in odor, either. Stink Rocks. Thankfully, of their own volition they gathered in the garage to for the entertainment - leaving the kitchen a stink free zone.

What do I have planned for the rest of the day? Moving T's bedroom upstairs, organizing things a tad better for C downstairs, maybe taking a load of things to the local good will and possibly grabbing the carpet cleaner from my Mom's to get the living room looking like we don't use it quite as much as we do. I'd love to get some slip covers for the couches in there, as well but that will have to wait I'm sure. I will also do some errands later, including IKEA, if I can get everything set up. Seems like a little bit too much for one day, but a girl can dream right?

I'll report back later.

Read this.

J.K. Rowling's commencement speech at Harvard. Worth every second.

Thank Heaven for good family and friends.

My life has been a whirlwind for a while, as most of you know. I'm so blessed with wonderful family and friends, who are constantly looking out for me and thinking of ways to make our life better. My Dad, earlier this spring, mentioned a "Science Camp" at the local community college and made all the necessary arrangements for T to go - including the enlistment of T's best friend C to go with him. I dropped them off this morning, and let me tell you - I'm so glad that my Dad took that on and followed through with it. The boys were very excited. They work together in teams (they are a natural team) for four days in four different areas of science. Yesterday they did bridge building. Today they will be working on robotics. As I watched them running into the building, I couldn't help but be a little overwhelmed with gratitude, not just to my Dad but to the many many people who are there for us, making our lives better. Here's to all of you. I love you dearly!

Reassuring Q.

Mommy, am I a good boy?

Yes, Q you are a good boy.

Do you love me, Mommy?

Yes, Q. I love you very much. I love being your Mommy.

So, I'm a good boy? I'm not a bad boy?

Well, sweetie, sometimes when you do things like paint your sister's wall, and bed, and carpet I don't like cleaning it very much. Sometimes those things make me a little crazy, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad boy. You are a good boy.

So you love me?

Yes, sweetheart. I love you.

My poor baby is suffering like any 5 year old would under the current circumstances. I have to say, however that I am extremely impressed with how he is doing. He is my "no changes under any condition" child. It took him 6 months (at 3 1/2 years old) to accept the fact that we were living in a new house and wouldn't be returning to the old one. It is a very very good thing that my family has been so helpful and supportive. It is a good thing that he loves his Grandma and Grandpa so much. Although he is asking a lot of questions, there has actually been less angry demanding that "everything return to it's prior condition." When we moved, he'd say things like, "Mom, you need to call the tainers back so Dad can put all of our things back and we can go back to our house." He's say things like that two or three times a day, well - probably more. He still can't go by that house without demanding from the back seat that we make the new owners give it back to us. What a kid. I think that it will take years to really see how all of the changes have affected him. There is still a great deal that remains to be seen, but at least for now, he seems to be doing well. I talk to him. I hold him when he just needs to feel close and safe. I cry when he paints walls. We move forward day by day. There have been far more good days than bad days in the last two weeks. More like there have been a few difficult hours, but for the most part, it has been very good. This is no small miracle.

Second Week of Work.

A friend saw me at work this week - both of us were very surprised.

"What about your kids? How are you going to do it?" he asked.

"Have you heard of faith?" I replied.

It's much more than faith, however. Faith has been the thing that has allowed me to go down this road, confident that the Lord would lead me to the right place. Faith has taken me this far in the sense that I had the courage to act. It has enabled me to keep moving when I felt lost. It has renewed me and given me peace. The job my faith took me to is, as I have said before, completely different from what I originally had in mind, but it has also been much better than I imagined. I enjoy the people I'm working with tremendously. Our customers literally come from all over the world which appeals to my sense of curiosity and adventure. Today I was helping a married couple from Hungary - both Doctors. The were so much fun. I love that aspect more than I can say.

It isn't faith, however that has cared for my children. My family has enthusiastically embraced that role with love. If I had an 8 to 5 job, I would be with kids in the evening. Because my hours are crazy, the kids have needed a lot of care in the evenings. My schedule has made more room for D to be with them and care for them, which is good for everyone. D and the kids see each other more than they would otherwise, which is a win win situation. Everyone is happier. That is one of the miracles that has come from trusting in the Lord. Things that I thought would be impossible have proved not only to be possible but to be better than what I had personally planned. Have you noticed how often that is the case?

The kids are doing okay. Poor Q is overwhelmed by all of the changes. His dad moved to his new apartment on Saturday, and his Mom is working away from home for the first time in his life. It is easy to see that he is torn and filled with emotion that he doesn't understand.  I took time when I got home today to sit with him and talk. He cried and told me all about how he wants things to be. Then he settled down and started to boss me around as usual. I knew then that he was feeling a little better. He fell asleep in my arms and the girls came in to have their turns to sit and talk. Dishes can wait for later because there is only so much time to hug and talk to my children. We all need that time. I feel really blessed to have them to come home to, they are my motivation. They are the reason I want to succeed, learn and work hard.

I'm very tired now, it's time to get everyone to bed. E says I should just put "The End" and be done. I think it's very good advice, there will be time to write another day. 

"The End"

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

While I was writing this morning, I heard Q in the bathroom filling up the sink and thought myself very smart for checking on him. Little did I know that in the half hour I thought they were watching Word World they had been downstairs “painting” E’s room. Poor A, I scared her to death when I came downstairs and saw the mess. I started screaming like a kid at a horror show. “Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

They had opened three cans of paint and covered a 4’x6’ area on the wall by her bed. There was paint on the bedding, on the carpet, on the curtains of her closet. It has taken me about an hour to get it cleaned up. It was still quite wet when I discovered it and so most of it came off. A little magic eraser took care of what was left on the wall after a wet towel. There was still some left on the wallpaper border, but I have plenty of the border to switch out the damaged portion. It may not come out of the bedding completely, but it will be okay. I’ve wanted to get E a runner for by the door/bed - now I have an even better reason. . . paint residue.

I had so many plans for that hour. I feel like I need a day off from my day off. Q has learned a pretty serious lesson. On the other hand, so have I.

First Week of Work.

Okay, so it was great. By the end of the week, I was looking forward to going - truly. It was just very frankly more fun than I thought it could be. There are tons of little tasks that I can do to keep myself busy when things are slower. It is sales, but most of all, it just feels like helping people. That was very natural and fun for me. The people I’m working with are interesting and caring. They want to know about my life and seem genuinely amazed about the way I’m handling everything that is coming at me. One of the ladies (probably in her 60’s) said to me at the end of the week, “You are a breath of fresh air. You are so refreshing . . . really, you are."
I hope that I can always make things fun. I want be Christlike, especially at work. I come into contact with so many people from so many parts of the world all day long. We are the first stop from the airport and we have quite a few out of town visitors.
I learned that I have a little more of a competitive spirit than I imagined, as well. That will have to be kept in check. I like everyone so well. I want to make sure that my friends are treated well. I want to be sure that I maintain good relationships and do my part. So, verdict on the first week? It couldn’t have been better, honestly - unless it were closer to home, I guess.
My family has been amazing, as well. They want to share my load and we will work together to be sure that my children are well cared for. I'm so grateful for their willingness to help us - for the love they show and the way they have stood by me through these days.
I have four days off - my next day at work is Wednesday. I have a lot to do before then, and thank heaven for that. Keeps me busy and focused. Most of all, I want to give my children the things that they need. I want them to have every chance to flourish in these crazy times.

Quality

From Eckhart Tolle

"Success isn't anything other than a successful present moment. And what is that? There is a sense of quality in what you do, even the most simple action. Quality implies care and attention, which come with awareness...By realizing that your entire life journey ultimately consists of the step you are taking at the this moment. There is always only this one step, and so you give it your fullest attention. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going; it just means this step is primary, the destination secondary."

I'm going to be thinking about this today as I'm walking around the store. It is something great to chew on. It's what I've been trying to do this year, pay attention to the moments so that they don't get away from me. I have reason to do that now more than ever. I promise I'll put something about work in on Sunday. Things are going well, I've enjoyed myself - although my body is just aching by the end of the day. Tonight will be my first 1 to 10 shift. I like being in the store. I think that summer evenings will be busy - so it should be fun.

Enjoy your steps today.

Back to work . . .

Next week will be my first week of work, and my schedule? 

Ack! Here it is.

Monday - 6 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Tuesday - 11 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Wednesday - 1 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Thursday - 1 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Friday - 2 p.m. to 11 p.m.

At times like this, it's good to know that you're on the right track, because nothing about that schedule (except that I have the entire weekend off) looks like something I'd actually consider possible. On the other hand - it is just another opportunity for me to watch the hand of the Lord work in my life, and who doesn't need more miracles? I've been hanging out in that 'in need of little daily miracles' territory for a while, and although I truly can say that the Lord has provided, I can also say that in my case He seems to be choosing REALLY DRAMATIC WAYS to do that providing. There isn't any explanation for the events that have transpired and also no way that I will be able to take any credit for pulling it off. It is far beyond me, but very much within the Lord's power to bring together the necessary resources to make this an actual functioning plan. One week and day at a time, it's a good pace. It's a manageable pace.

Thankfully, I'm closing a lot next week because someone will be on vacation - I don't expect that to be a typical week. Also, miraculously, although the just never start people with the designation of full-time, even when they are working full time hours, and they generally have you prove yourself in terms of sales before they offer a full-time designation, they will be bringing me on full-time, which means that I'll be eligible for health benefits in 90 days. 

So there it is. Is this the craziest thing you've ever heard, or what?

Adventuring in the unknown.

I think it's pretty safe to make an announcement now, since I'm going in tomorrow morning to talk to my new manager about the job details. I have to say that I am completely floored at what I am about to announce. Despite that, however, I just keep getting that "where I'm supposed to be" feeling -  and it is truly the only thing that has presented itself as a viable option. I am going to be working at Z Gallerie in The Gateway.

I've been putting applications in since April. I've had a few interviews, tested for a couple of Temporary Employment companies. I did fabulously, but there just hasn't seemed to be anything for me. I had been looking for clerical work because I hadn't been able to find anything in Interior Design, which is my degree field.

So this is how it went. Last Wednesday, I went down to the Apple store with my computer because it was crashing a lot. (Apples don't generally crash a lot, you know?) While they were working on it, I went into Z Gallerie to check it out - I had never been in the store before. As it turned out, they were looking for people - and I really did like the store, so I took an application and figured maybe I'd fill it out later. After checking on the computer, I had another half hour to wait, so I decided to go back, fill out the application and turn it in. Friday afternoon the manager called wondering when I could come in for an interview. We set that up for Saturday night, because that was the soonest I'd be available. (My family was in Bear Lake over the weekend.) They had me come in today for a "working interview" which was mainly just to see how I felt about talking to people. It was fun. I'm sure I'll get the hang of what to say and do in time - but I really enjoyed myself. I like helping people. The manager asked me to come in tomorrow morning (7:30 a.m.) so that we could sit down and sort out all the details. 

On the way home, I wondered what the universe was bringing to me in the form of this job. I thought about how far from my original plan it was - and still how good I feel about it. It is absolutely crazy how I ended up here, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn new things and work in "my field". Most of the places I talked to were looking for past retail experience more than a degree. This place was very willing to accept me as I am, pays what I need to be paid - with bonuses rather than commission - and because of the road I've been on, I recognize the blessing of simply having a job. Feeling that it is the best place for me right now helps me lay aside my worries about the schedule and my inadequacies. One other funny side note, Dr. Laura was telling someone just about the same things today. Sometimes doors close and doors open but we are so busy pounding on the closed door that we don't even think to go through the open door. I felt so great about that. I was thinking to myself that at that very moment I was walking through that open door, ready for the gifts the universe was bringing me. That felt great, it felt healthy, it was a confirmation of my own feelings and the action I was taking. It feels amazing to be moving in a direction - even if it is completely different from what I imagined. That's what adventure is all about right? 

Hella.

My baby, A, is O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with Cinderella. From her tiny lips, it's "Hella" this and "Hella" that - but there is no mistaking what she means by that. We have a book of Disney Princess stories that I got for E a couple of years ago. A carries it around, perusing "Hella's" story a few times a day. Every chance she gets, she'll sit quietly and watch the entire movie. Once in a while she'll say something like, "Funny" or "I wuff it, mama." (For those not speaking my baby's lingo - that's "I love it . . ." Her favorite part of the story is when Cinderella brings the glass slipper out of her pocket. She made me stop the first time I read that part to her. We had quite a conversation about "pot-its" and how great it was that "Hella" had a shoe in her "pot-it". I'm pretty sure that she was thinking something like, "Wow! So shoes come from pockets! I had no I idea! I wonder when I'm going to find shoes in my pockets!" Why am I so sure? Well, my dearest little one is also very shoe obsessed, and dog obsessed - which sheds a little more light on why she is so "Hella" obsessed. This story has it all: dogs, shoes, pretty dresses and pumpkins that turn into transportation. (I don't think she cares much about the prince at this point, and I'm okay with that.) I did just mention the pretty dresses, though, didn't I. Part of her obsession has to do with a Cinderella costume that E got for her fifth birthday. All I need say is that it is sometimes a struggle to get if off of A - it must be washed from time to time. I make her wear clothes underneath - but she can ignore that, as long as I immediately put "Hella" back on. Great Grandma thinks I might be just a little off my rocker - a child always dressing in a costume. On the other hand, it's just so darned adorable. I'm pretty sure that I am off my rocker, at least a little bit. I just can't help it. Watching her run around the house in that get-up makes my day. She is a little princess, and I'm glad that she knows it. It's good to have a sense of your own worth and I don't think she has over estimated herself one tiny bit. She is such a bright spot of sunshine. She makes every day worth living just to know I'm going to get a big hug and kiss from her somewhere along the way.

Cool. I'm awesome - But I still don't have a job.

You Are Psyche!

Eternally in search of purpose and insight. You're curious and creative with a total sense of wonder. Totally empathetic, you pick up on other's moods easily. Just be sure to pamper yourself as well!

What Goddess Are You?

This is your last chance!

I hate that crack-pot!

Crack-pot?

CRAAAAACK POHHHHHT. I hate that dinner that you're making!

OH! . . . Crock Pot!

Yes. I hate that dinner. You have to take me to IKEA . . . I want those circle things . . . meatballs. This is your last chance! Make cookies and go at IKEA. That's it!

What are you going to do if I won't do it?

You're grounded. Grounded from computers,  . . . every night. And you're not taking me to IKEA. If you're not, you're grounded from computers.

Q, we aren't going to IKEA for dinner. You can have anything else in the house that you want, but we are staying here.

No, I am the boss of this house . . . and we are going to IKEA . . . mommy, pleeeaaaase. Take me to IKEA . . . okay, that's it. If you won't give me soda, and meatballs and french fries and sauce, I'm going to ground you from computers!

(I don't think I need to express how funny this conversation was to me. I was typing as he was speaking. It cracked me up so much. It's not over, either. I know my child. He will carry this to the end of the day.)

Mama! Why won't you listen to me! It's IKEA for me! 

Spectacular Sky

On Monday we were on the road to my parents home for little Memorial Day get together, when Q (now 5) called out, "Mom, there's two skies!" I looked up to see what he meant, and was astounded by what I saw. It had been raining and the sky was covered in thick dark clouds. I hadn't imagined that they would pass. It had seemed that we were in for a cloudy day - I hadn't thought much of it. For the first time in my life, however, I saw a thick mass of dark clouds, a very defined end to those clouds, followed by a perfectly blue, sun shining fluffy cloud floating spring day as far as the eye could see. It was amazing to me because, you know, ususally you'll see the clouds starting to break up, a little blue poking through here and there, and then some sun. That day, however, the "two skies" were right there together and it was a striking contrast. It seemed profound to me, I feel that way about my life. Exactly that way. There has been a dark mass of clouds hanging over us for a long time, but the end to those clouds is in sight and beyond them, the sky is fine and lovely, the sun is shining. Storms will always be a part of life. It's nice to know that they don't last forever.

T's thumb is actually broken

A week and a half ago at Young Men's, they were playing games, and Turner came home complaining of a jammed thumb. He was still complaining yesterday, and having such a difficult time writing and doing homework that I figured we had better get him seen. I took him over to InstaCare, where they did a number of x-rays and found what they thought was a fracture at the base of his thumb. They put him into a temporary brace, and said they'd call back today after the radiologist had had a chance to look at it. The Radiologist felt that there was indeed a fracture - and that we needed to see the bone doctors. Crazy times. So, I'll be calling to get that appointment fairly soon, and I may set up an appointment for myself at the same time to have them check my wrists - just in case. One is much better, but the other still gives me more trouble than I think it ought to. We'll see. In the meantime, my boy is broken, but doing well. It is the second time he's had a major injury (the first time, a burn) in that area of his hand. I find that very interesting, but I'm like that.

In all the other areas, I'm hanging in there. It's still a roller coaster - just a different kind that depends a lot on things that I can't control . . . I'm learning a lot about faith, patience and trust. I never knew I had so much to learn. That in and of itself is very humbling, because I then realize how very far out in front of me the road extends . . .and it is a long one. The great thing about allowing the Lord to run the show is the acknowledgement that I really have NO CLUE what he is leading me to: Why is that a good thing? Well, the reason that is a good thing has everything to do with the understanding that only He can get me to that place, because only He knows where it is. It is the same reason that "spinning and toiling" won't get me any closer to it. All I need to do is follow the Spirit, day to day, and I will eventually arrive at that place He has prepared for me. It is miraculous. He has promised me that it will be wonderful, and so I will trust, and wait and believe . . . and do the work He gives me each day.

Weewa Tar . . .

My two year old treated me to a very precious version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star today. I enjoyed every second of it. I'm recording it here because I don't want to forget.

"Ween Toe Ween Toe Weewa Tar . . .

Ween Toe Ween Toe Weewa TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

She was in the other room playing, and didn't know that I was listening. This was obviously her "belt" version - she probably held that note for about 5 seconds, which frankly surprised me. I haven't exposed her to much opera or dramatic singing so far. What a sweetie. Just can't get enough of that.

It's time.

It's all quite painful, this complete rearranging of life. Not that I've felt any degree of abandonment as far as the Lord is concerned, but simply that it is difficult to maintain perfect patience while waiting and wondering what He has in mind. I'm trying for perfect patience, while I do the things that I can do, and wait for His hand. I still feel very keenly His watchful eye, and awareness of me and my family . . . and that DOES make it easier. I know I'm going to cry in the shower today though, it will happen. Even when we are working tirelessly for perfect patience, emotions are sometimes close to the surface - and that it today. Today is a crying day.
I haven't heard anything on the applications I've put in so far, which - due to the size of the companies - I'm not especially surprised at. Both of them, in the application process have notices that it could be some time before they get back to you. I may call one of them this week, just because I have a contact, and a friend has been pushing the "Abby" brand there - I don't think it could hurt. I thought long and hard about the job situation this weekend, and with no immediate prospects, but the need for money looming large, I am going to register with some Temporary Agencies. I've had luck with them in the past, due to the fact that I am reliable, easy-going and understand the word "work". It isn't what I had in mind, but it is where I feel inspired to begin. How often, by the way have you known things to work out "just the way you had in mind?" I think I can count those on one hand. Thankfully, happiness doesn't need to be determined by arbitrary things like that. One can choose to be happy, no matter the circumstances. 
I've also been somewhat plagued by what I should do with my soon to be kindergarten boy - where I should register him for school next year. My Mother, in her gentle way, said nonchalantly on Friday - "Maybe you should put Q at Heartland, then I could just pick him up after school and bring him here." She's not pushy. She rarely tells you what she thinks you should do, or even what she thinks about your plans. This wasn't just a thought, though. In essence, she was saying, "Bring the kids to me." It won't be an easy thing for her, what she was suggesting, but I think it would be the very best thing for my Q. His whole world is going to change this summer. The one place on earth that he feels completely comfortable and happy, however, happens to be my parents' home. I know I wouldn't have to worry about him there. I know he'd be blessed by my Mother's tender heart and endless love, witty wisdom and listening ears. I swear she can hear a person's heart speaking. The school itself has been completely rebuilt from the ground up over the last year and runs on a traditional schedule which would give him a little more time to adjust the changes. It just feels like the best thing for him all the way around. 

A little more about my Mother, since I can never quite do her justice in the first place. She is uniquely selfless, but beyond that she finds her greatest joy in her children and grandchildren. She loves having time with her grandchildren and plans "Grandma Camps" in the summer. She brings them over in pairs for a few days and nights. She plans activities and fun for them, and she loves it. (Needless to say, so do the kids.) I told her how my friends respond to her brand of "Grandma" - they are invariably surprised - and sometimes jealous. More than once, a friend of mine has said "So, she really calls to see if you'll bring the kids over?" What can I say, she does, a lot. I think I've said before that if I am able to be half the woman she is, I will feel very good about the way I'm living my life. I hope the Lord lets me keep her here with me for a very long time. I hope that I can treat her as well, as she ages, as she treats her family. It would be a blessing to care for her.

I have people on every hand offering their help to me. I know that I will grow through this, that in learning to accept help from others, my heart will be more tender as I in turn look for ways to serve God's children. It is what I want, more than anything, to be like the Savior. That is the main reason to work for perfect patience, and cultivate gratitude for all the blessings that are mine. I don't need to know what He has planned, just that He will take care of me and give me the information that I need when it is important.

My favorite scripture is Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Magnetism

"I think magnetism is my favorite invisible force."
The Man with the Yellow Hat, Curious George

Commitment

Until one is committed
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would otherwise never have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner
of unforseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt
would have come his way.
I have learned a deep respect
for one of Goethe's couplets:

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can . . . begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

W.N. Murray
The Scottish Himalayan Expedition


I found this in my journal from my freshman year of college. I thought it was fantastic. I have always kept excellent journals, and though some of it is rather embarrassing, I really enjoy looking back to all the eras of my life to re-live and glean from my past forgotten gems like this one.

The Wisdom of Satchel Paige

"Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common."

More great Satchel Paige Quotes.

Around the world in 30 minutes.

One of the things I've really enjoyed doing lately is visiting the Daily Photo blogs from around the world. It's like a world tour, an amazing array of culture, sites and scenery that for the most part I'm fairly sure I'll not have the chance to visit personally in my natural life. I love it. It is refreshing. After a little virtual jaunt, I feel like I've really left the building even when in truth the most adventure I've had during the day was walking through the grass on the way to the mailbox. I especially love the photos of Portugal - where I served my mission - and Japan - where I lived with my family for a year as a young girl. My eyes have been opened to other parts of the world that I'd love to explore, as well. If I ever do have a chance to travel, I'll be much better informed and will probably have an excellent idea of what I'd like to see. It's a big world out there.
More than just sightseeing, joining the Daily Photo community has been a very positive experience for me, as well. I've made some friends, and everyone can use more friends - especially far away, never would have met you any other way friends. It also gives me a reason to keep an eye out for things I'd like to photograph. I'm naturally interested in Architecture, and have really enjoyed photography trips downtown. I think about things in new ways, as possible subjects for photography rather than just a nice building. I love floral photography as well, and I've really been enjoying the tulips lately. Photography is a natural outlet for a designer. I love composing photographs, it's one of my favorite things to do. It's just been plain great.
So, if you have a chance, visit the Daily Photo Portal - where all of the thumbnails are gathered each day. It changed my life in a little way that has meant a lot. Here's to new experiences!

IRS says. . .

"The information you provided helped us to clear up the matter. We consider this case closed." I'm paraphrasing, but that's it. They have cut us loose, and we won't need to do anything else. "WE'RE FREE!"

It's a hit.

Baby boy had a sweet line drive to Right field tonight, an RBI which is even better. I was so happy for him - he had it coming. The game was a nail biter, their first win. The score was 10 to 9 and they got the last out with a strike-out and a runner on third. The winning pitcher also had an out-of-the-park home run tonight as well. Talk about the way to win your first game.

Follow Me.

The Mesa LDS Temple has an exhibit of photographs representing the life of Christ. I watched it with my four year old and was touched beyond words. It was a great way to start a conversation with him about the Savior, and he learned a lot about "happy tears".

The loop.

My child, my child, my twelve year old son. He makes me so proud. He makes me want to pull my hair out. And all this in the same day. Today, I learned that he has fallen behind in many of his subjects. He assumed someone would hand him a list of all the assignments he needed to make up due to recent illnesses. Not so. Taking responsibility for oneself is part of growing up, and learning that is rarely an easy lesson. I count my blessings that he is beginning to learn this in the sixth grade - and not next year in junior high. I don't doubt that there will be continued need for parental supervision in his work, but I am really proud of him. He's been through a great deal this year, with the changes our family is going through. He's had to grow up a little faster than I might have liked, but in many ways he has already shown strength beyond his years. I count my blessings, as well, that while we were working on back homework, I found out about the poetry project which is due this Thursday. We plowed through as much of this week's work as we could to make room for more make up work in the last few days of the week. It threw me for a loop, to have all of that work land on my kitchen table this afternoon - and I totally blew my good food behavior - but, it's coming along just fine. The fact that I was able maintain my emotional composure - even if I had to down a big bowl of Cocoa Krispies to do it - was really important in helping him to feel that he could accomplish what had to be done. These lessons are all going to serve him very well in the years to come. I can see that he is less and less panicked by difficulties that come along, and all I can say is HALLELUJAH! My baby boy, my firstborn, my precious child is not a baby anymore.

In Lisbon, there is a square. . .

I read this on the Lisbon Daily Photo blog today:

In the middle of the square there's a statue of Dom Pedro IV and at its foot the four female figures representing Justice, Wisdom, Strength and Moderation, qualities attributed to Dom Pedro himself.

Sometimes the Spirit just hits you over the head. Justice, Wisdom, Strength and Moderation. These are the qualities that I need to seek earnestly to develop more fully at this juncture in my life. Especially Moderation, mostly Moderation. My life as it has been for the last 14 years is going to change soon. With the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost I have been blessed with a greater sense of Justice, Wisdom and more Strength than I believe I naturally possess. I can feel the tug of Moderation, too. I'm grateful for it. Moderation is not deprivation. Moderation is not excess. I believe that it is the pillar that will help me to strike a lasting balance in my life, in spite of the challenges that will come.
I say all of this with the plain acknowledgement that without the Lord Jesus Christ I would be nothing. I would be a useless pile of broken up person. With him, I am healing, happy and hopeful. Justice, Wisdom, Strength and Moderation. It sounds a lot like Him, only He is so much more than that - He is also Love, Compassion and every other good and wonderful quality that has ever been known.

If you'd like to see some photos of the square, go here.