Happy

A number of people have told me that I look happier lately. Many of them were very surprised at how happy I looked. Yesterday, my sister told me that she sees a difference in my home, too. Not that it was ever "dirty", but things just seem to be more in place than they have been in the last couple of years.

It isn't so much that I've spent a ton of time on myself, or cleaning the house (although I did clean on Saturday night). I realized that, although I wasn't a complete mess and I still enjoyed life - I was carrying some intense and excruciating burdens over the last couple of years and it showed in my countenance and in my home. Those burdens are gone now. I still have burdens, but they are new burdens. They are heavy but they don't feel so overwhelming. I am happy. I had been surviving emotionally day to day for a long time. Finally, I have come to a place where I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. It's not that anything big has changed in the last month or so, I'm just at peace. I have turned control over to the Lord. I feel healthier emotionally. I'm not worried for the future or even trying to figure out what He has in mind. I don't waste much time on those things. I don't have it to waste. I have better things to do.