Here's to maintaining some self-respect and sanity while tending to the growth and maturation of young minds, including your own young mind. Here's to recognizing that it isn't necessary to know how everything is going to turn out in advance, and that often Life has much better in store than one can imagine. Here's to hope and happiness even when Life gets complicated, especially then... That's when it's needed it most.

...afterall, the car may only seat seven but room for friends is unlimited...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Thanks for Stopping By

I just wanted to put a little note in for the folks who come by and take a look now and then. I love doing this, and it's fun to know that you are out there enjoying it. For those of you have been such good friends and helps to me, Thank you for that, too. In some ways, coming out of this last year alive an kicking - probably even better than before, is better than any other reward or recognition. Sometimes just the living of life itself provides the most glorious of joys and blessings. To know that you didn't fall apart when you could have. To know that people care. Who needs and Oscar when you have friends like mine? Not me.
Thanks to all of you.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Treasures in Heaven

I need to preface this entry with this simple statement. I am a Christian, I study Christ and try to emulate Him. You need not be a Christian to read this, but I wanted you to know ahead of time that this entry will be of a religious nature.

These are some of the words of Christ. "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

I've heard these words all of my life, but today I read them and they meant something completely new and different to me. Today, they spoke to me of my family, of my children. When we "lay up in store" it is through our time and effort, focused on that task. There are many many people in the world who are focused on what they lay up in earthly wealth and goods. Of course, we have to provide for our families in terms of what is necessary for survival and comfort. I'm talking about our focus, however. We can work to provide, while keeping our focus on the family itself rather than the money and things that we "want". I was thinking of today that the treasure I want in Heaven is my family, my children around me. If the treasure I want with me in Heaven is my family, then they will be my focus here on earth, too. The thought that where my treasure is, my heart would be also seemed exceptionally powerful as I thought of these five lovely souls that the Lord has entrusted to me. My Treasures.

Monday, November 19, 2007

A book to recommend

I’ve been reading a book by Martin Seligman called The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience. A friend recommended it to me, am I’m so glad and grateful. What I am learning through this book is how to teach my children healthy ways of thinking about and relating to themselves and the world around them, whether pleasant and bad times. In this regard, I struggle mostly with T and how everything is "the end of his world." I have worried for him a great deal, knowing what he’ll be facing in Junior High and that he needs to have some skills to deal with the ups and downs. My friend has helped me a lot by just being a true friend. He also has knowledge that I’ve needed and a different point of view (which is often crucial at turning points). This book, though, may be the single most important bit he’s given me. It was first published in 1995, the year T was born. I wish that I'd had it all this time, but I can’t do anything about that. I CAN make the most of it, now. I can also send a note to thank my friend for the help. I am reading as quickly as I can (I got it from the Library). I will need to purchase it so that I can read and re-read. I feel confident that I have the personal skill set necessary to help my children develop these tools in their own lives. I’m just so happy to have someone spell it out for me.

Friday, November 16, 2007

On my mind

Well I'm sure there's something that I could be doing right now, but I can't think of anything I want to be doing, and so I'm going to write a little bit. These are the things floating around in my head -
I spent the majority of the day studying Copic Markers online. I'm going to be working on an Interior Design project, and I'd like to be able to do so quick renderings for my client. That was impossible due to the fact that all of my markers dried out about 10 years ago. I just haven't been doing much with my education, as far as the rendering part goes. I have been watching what some of my friends have done with these markers, in the world of crafts, and realized that they'd work in my other life, too. After studying them a little bit more today, I found a great site that would let me customize a 72 marker set. Can I just say that I'm dumbfounded? I've never heard of anyone offering to do anything like that before ever ever. Just something funny, this is the first set of markers I've ever purchased. In college, I got them one at a time. It was okay, but this is something really special to me. I'm excited to get them and try them out. I'll have to keep them under lock and key and they will not ever once in my lifetime come within sight distance of my children, but other than that, it's a great step toward integrating Educated Abby and Mom Abby.
I've been working on goals this week: starting to walk, drinking more water, being connected with my spiritual self. The water thing was much simpler than I imagined, seriously. My Mom came across a double stroller the other day and picked it up for me. The little ones love it, so much so that they'd rather sit in it than play at the park with the older kid while I'm walking. The weather has been fabulous, so nice and warm. It has made the whole thing very enjoyable for everyone. The kids have loved getting out of the house, they are off track, and I benefit from the exercise. We all win.
Spiritually, I just want to hang onto the peaceful heart I've enjoyed lately. I want to keep doing what I've done well, and add a little bit to my routine.
With the oldest nearly 12 and the youngest almost 2, I guess that I am starting to see the end of one of the tunnels in my life. It's not that I've been in darkness and I'm finally "seeing the light". I simply recognize that changes in my daily routine are nearer now than ever. I recognize the need to prepare for those changes. That's what's been on my mind lately.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Like a Deer

I am just stunned at how quickly time is passing. We are making plans for Thanksgiving. All of those "Holiday Travel" stories are on the 6 o'clock news. The kids are off track for three weeks. I'm on the internet more than ever getting the Christmas shopping done. I've been stashing things away for a while, and there's not too much left to do - but STILL. It's almost overwhelming to think that there are really only 6 weeks left in 2007. In truth, I'm glad that we've almost put the year behind us. I think I'm much better off in many ways than I was last year at this time. I'm a different person, and just about anyone that really knows me will tell you that. Life has a way of doing that to a person. A rolling stone gathers no moss, but also gets the rough edges knocked clean off. In 2007, things around here were really roiling, or rolling whichever you prefer. We have settled somewhat, but the changes that came along the way seem fairly permanent. I have more compassion than I used to, and I'm less naive, but not bitter. I'm looking forward to many wonderful things to come. The kids are growing faster than I know how to cope with. I'm focusing in on the important things, however. I have a good idea of what I want from life, and a decent sense of what will be required - in terms of effort - to get there. I'm happier and stronger than I was last year around Thanksgiving. Day by day, time has past and now finds me here, like a deer in the headlights of the oncoming year. Stunned, but at the same time, I know the new year won't cause any permanent damage - not really.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Out of Left Field

I feel like I've been catapulted into a new arena of thought. All of my children are here and living. I have a full life, and I've got my toes in many different ponds right now. Within four years, all of my children will be in school. Within 5 years, I'll be free from 8 to 3. That's a lot of hours in a day. I decided to call the University, so see what I would need to apply for their Masters of Architecture. Turns out, I need some math and some physics before I can even register for their 3+ Maters program, which is where I'd need to be, I'm sure, considering that I've been out of school for 14 years and haven't practiced in my field. I can take the math and physics courses online or the community college. I have to be able to pass a test and show that I can handle the Calculus course before I can register for it, online or otherwise. I did a little digging on the community college website and found that the book for both the trigonometry and College Algebra were the same - and then I found it online for $15.00 (which is like 15% of retail) and I bought it. I've printed out all of the homework assignments and I'm going to start studying. So, there you have it. I'm going back to school - without the professor, and just so that I can get ready for a test, to take some classes which might help me decide whether I really want to go back to school or not. I'm actually a little bit excited about re-learning math again. No matter what, the things that I'm working on now will be very helpful to me when my kids start getting into more than add/subract/multiply/divide.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Funny!


It's amazing to me that a two year old could have such a great sense of humor, but there's no denying that A's got it. She giggles and laughs and all day long, punctuating her comments with "Funny!" I love it. It is so beyond what I expected of her. I'm very accustomed to two year olds talking about their world, the things they see or need. What A seems most pleased to express is what she thinks about things. I've mentioned before that she has opinions. This just points to her expanding ability to let others know what the opinions are.
She absolutely adores dogs, and they are always "Funny!" Sometimes, things on PBS are "Funny!" She loves being tossed into the air by the big people in her life. That's "Fun!" which is her second favorite designation. She often declares her siblings to be "Fun!" She loves their attention and playing games with them, as long as they aren't too rough. She's tough, though - it consistently surprises me how long she can hang in with the bigger kids. I mean, she hits the four year old at his armpits, and he still seems small to me. She chases and runs away with the best of them. She loves to fall into a pile of giggling children, and I bet you know what she'd be saying. . ."Fun!"

Thursday, November 1, 2007

November

Today marks the beginning of the last month until my 11 year old son turns 12. It's a big deal for him, and for me. He's growing and changing a lot. He's a big tease, and that is what gets him in the most trouble at home. I have a rule specifically prohibiting older children from riling up the younger ones near bedtime. He has a hard time distinguishing between having fun and the aforementioned behavior. I'm glad he enjoys being with the family, but there is a time and a place even for fun. This morning I had to work on him with regard to how he was treating the 9 year old. He's entered the time when it's not "cool" to hang out with younger siblings while your friends are around. Last night he went trick-or-treating with some friends instead of his brother. C was crushed. I reasoned with C, and tried to help him see that it was natural for T to be doing things more on his own, and with friends. It didn't seem to help much. When it comes to mistreatment, however, I don't stand for it, and this morning there was no question that his actions were firmly in the arena of mistreatment. Not only was he over the line, he was unrelenting and unresponsive when it came to my warnings. Finally, it became clear that I would have to take him down quite a few notches. When I was finished, his high horse was looking much more like a miniature pony. Amazingly, I maintained my cool through it all. I did it lovingly, but firmly, and made sure that they both knew where I stood when it came to my love for them. They are such great boys, both of them. Their strengths are very different, as are their weaknesses. I love them both dearly, and I need them to know that I will stand between them if necessary. I made sure that T was humble, but not humiliated. I made sure that he knew I loved him, even if I couldn't allow his behavior. The stress on parents when it comes to managing these kinds of conflicts in not negligible. Raising children can be hazardous to your health - especially to hearing and blood pressure. I'm fairly certain, however, that studies would bear out what I find to be true with myself and my five children. They lighten my load more than weigh me down. They bring me joy far more than they give me grief. They surprise and amuse me, they are good for my health, they bring purpose, direction and joy to my life. Raising them is a life I would choose over and over again - even with the acknowledged hazards.