Licked

I'm so tired. My muscles just ache. I've been going on auto-pilot since about 7 p.m. when everything just seemed to shut down. The kids were pretty wild, but not hard to keep out of mischief. I can usually handle noise, what gets to me is stuff like floods in the bathroom or a huge mess in a room I just cleaned. The clutter factor is pretty huge right now and I know I've got a lot of work to do, but the fact is that I can't. I don't have it tonight. My body has clocked-out. That's not a great thing to have happen when you are alone with 5 children, but it isn't life threatening. I am accustomed to living on the edge, working on a moment to moment basis. I've learned to take things as they come, and put off the truly impossible until it can be truly licked.
I always have these little things in mind that I'd like to get accomplished on any given day. I've learned that those kinds of goals in a family like mine are of necessity very transient and fleeting things. The day brings with it its own work, and offers it's own blessings. Today, for example, I had planned to finish cleaning the basement with the help of my children. They were so well behaved, however, that I ended up working on other projects all morning. How often do I get 5 quiet children for hours on end? Not very often, it's just the nature of things. The quiet house was like a bull-horn in my head screaming "work like a mad woman". I was able to finish all of the Photoshop work I needed to do and I can now start compiling the albums we'll be giving our Mothers this year. Unbelievable.
I don't do things like this very often, very specifically because it is nearly impossible to arrange for moments like I had earlier today. If I had planned it, I guarantee I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. It seems like my children have some kind of predatory instinct when it comes to my time. If I have some project in mind, they have an equal an opposite need which trumps my plans. Today was special, and if I want to actually finish the albums, I'm going to have to arrange for babysitting. I want to have plenty of time to spend with the kids over their break from school. We can't 'vacation', which is a class A bummer, but there are things that we can do around here. We went to the biggest park in town this afternoon and it was just enough to soothe some of our "cooped up" craziness. My plan was very specific. Let them have some fun. Wear them out. They were asleep almost before their heads hit the pillow tonight. And speaking of tired, my eyes are a bit heavy right now, too. I'm truly licked, and it feels great.