Having been to IKEA

I'm so glad that they decided to build here. They have been packed, no surprise. We've spent a little time there ourselves. Our mudroom is now organized, let the joyous news be spread the wicked old mess is dead. There are examples throughout the house of how much we love it. It was worth waiting for. I'm so glad we didn't give in to the urge to "just get it done". It would have cost much much more, and we wouldn't have been as pleased. As it is, we knocked half of our to do list out in a couple of days, and honestly - just how often can you say that? Can't wait to have the money to work on the rest of our to do list.

When I grow up. . .

As I watch my children grow, sometimes I wonder about the rest of MY life. When they are off on their own, what do I want to do then? I don't see myself in the shoes of women who seem to feel that they no longer have a purpose when their children are gone. My children have just enough vim and vigor to make me sure that they will someday need their own space, a place where I am no longer the boss. I think that's a good thing. One thing I don't really want to do is be some one's administrative assistant or clerk. I've thought about going back to school, and what I'd like to learn. I think that counseling is something that comes naturally to me. I think I could enjoy being a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner - I'm not quite crazy enough to think I'd like to be a doctor. I have two sisters that have been through law school, however, and I wouldn't toss that out. I like to help people, see them get to a better place. I love the idea that I can still become more than I already am. I love the idea that my children would be able to see me continuing to grow and change, that it doesn't have to end.
Getting from here to there is a long road, however. Living in now isn't always extremely pleasant. Tomorrow, for example, E has a kindergarten program at 9:00 a.m. Her teacher tells me that she is the best singer in the group. This is something that could easily be considered a pay-off moment, if you don't throw in getting everyone ready and out the door by 8:20 a.m. Sometimes, babies don't cooperate. Four year old boys very often don't cooperate. The grounds of the school are very torn up right now, due to the fact that they are working on a better parking and drop off area. Very little parking. These things could put me into a tail spin - except for this logical side that pulls me back and reminds me that I have a plan. The last couple of days, they've all been awake when I took the kids to school anyway. It's only two steps from there to dressed and fed. Next, instead of returning home between 8:20 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. I'm just going to park and maybe take a little walk with A and Q. Maybe I'll bring their breakfast in the car with me to eliminate a step at home. That's a good thought. Keeping them quiet during the program, however - that's where I don't have much of a plan, and that's where the tail spin worries return. The children are small, wiggly and noisy. Hopefully Grandma will be able to make it.
Wait just one minute. Did you see that? I am hopeful that my mother will be able to come to my child's school event. That is something that I honestly need to plan into my second life. If there are grandchildren nearby and available for grandmothering, I don't want to miss out on them so that I can see "patients" or "clients". Whatever I do, it better be pretty flexible. Also a good reason to leave doctor off the list. Maybe something that I can do at home and make my own schedule. Whatever I decide to be, I will always be a mother. I want to keep "being there" for my children even when I really truly am not the boss of them anymore. It is a long way from here to there, but I think that too is a good thing. I'm going to need all of that time to make the decisions that are still out there to make.

I thought you might enjoy these things that Q said today.

Me: "Quinn what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Q: "An Elephant."

Me: "Well what if you couldn't be an Elephant, then what would you
want to be?"

Q: "A Horse."



Then speaking to E a little bit later. . .she had just said,
"Sweetie. . ."

To which Q replied, "No, We're Dads. We're Darth Vaders."

We had my sister's children here so he was referring to himself and his cousin. My husband's reaction to the Dad/Darth Vader issue? He was overjoyed! He's a Star Wars aficionado, obviously. He was so pleased that his son immediately equated fatherhood with immense, if a little on the dark side, power. Funny thing is that just the other day we were commenting to each other how little power you actually have as parents. It is mostly a "perceived power" which in reality doesn't always carry much weight and is extremely unwieldy.

Daily Prayer

These are the things I hope to do each day with my children:

Show them love. Strengthen our relationship.

Listen to their words. Hear their hearts.

Teach them correct principles. Offer new ways of looking at situations.

Encourage their good choices. Open their eyes to the consequences of their choices.

Maintain my cool when they are headed off the deep end.

Give them opportunites to work. Help them to feel that they are a Part of something wonderful

Big lessons about interpersonal relationships

T has finally made some friends. One lives very close to our home, and they share a number of common interests. Of course, most often, when you make a friend, that person most commonly has other friends, too. Herein lie the problems that T is facing. He is at a loss for what to do and say when the "other friends" bristle at his presence. It's not that they don't like T, in fact they were friends long before he made the acquaintance of this other boy. Precisely as you would expect, however, because of how quickly T and the newer friend have hit it off, and the amount of time they spend together, one of the other friend has become particularly jealous.

Enter a good mother.

"Mom, Such and Such was saying really mean stuff about me and trying to get So and So not to play with me anymore."

"And why do you think he would do that?"

"Because I get to hang out with So and So more than he does."

"So, he's saying mean things about you because he's jealous."

"I guess so."

"Okay, well. . .this won't be easy, but you need to be really nice to Such and Such."

"I can't just sit there and ignore it when he says bad stuff about me!"

"Sure you can, in fact that is about the only thing you can do if you want to try and be friends with all of them. Such and Such is in a lot of pain. You can be nice to him. What does So and So say about all of it."

"He wishes that Such and Such wouldn't say that stuff."

"It sounds to me like he knows that the things that Such and Such is saying aren't true."

"Yeah."

"Well, that's the best place to be in. Even if it isn't easy, you want to be the one who tries to make things good, not the one who makes a big deal out of it all. You need to be as nice as you can to Such and Such."

You know, I feel for him. I'm not really proud of how I handled my own friend conflicts. The saddest part is that there is at least one person out there that I'd like to still be in touch with. I let her down. I wasn't a good friend. I was 13 and didn't have the social skills to integrate two different groups of friends so I left one behind. I have no idea where that girl is now, and I doubt she'd want to talk to me. If I did ever find her again, I would tell her that I was sorry. I would tell her that I have grown a lot and that I'm trying to help my children choose better. The next to saddest part is that I realize now that I could have talked to my own wonderful Mother much more than I did. She would've given me good advice. It is truly thanks to her that I can give good advice to my own children. The best part, for me, about this whole thing is something that I have only now come to realize. My son had a problem with his friends, and he TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT! It is proof to me that your can be your child's friend, and be a good parent and a voice of reason in their lives at the same time.

I love you T!

IKEA open today!

To help you understand what this means to our family, we used to plan vacations around visiting IKEA. Even the children love IKEA. T, our eleven year old son, saw a TV advertisement this week about opening day and said - "MOM! Now we don't need to go to California for vacation. We can just go to Draper! Think about what a short drive that will be! . . .and, we won't need to pack any suitcases or anything, so we'll have more room for stuff." The ride home from San Diego was more than just a little bit "packed" We had room to see out, but we had to move things around to get people out of the car at rest stops. It was pure vacation bliss. Honestly. The kids were so excited to get those things home and play with them, that they hardly complained the whole way home.
Now that our most common vacation destination is located so near our home, I guess we'll have to start planning around something else. Maybe Disneyland? Nah! I mean, what can honestly compare to IKEA?

Keep it simple, stupid

I need to make this my mantra with regard to meal preparation. My children aren't much interested in the more exotic of my culinary capabilities. What are their favorites? Spaghetti with Tomato and Meat sauce, for one. Thankfully, it is the one thing that they will all eat without fail. It is also my fail safe "we only have one half hour before Dad gets home" meal. The kids like plain rice or plain pasta which to them means with butter and parmesan cheese. They also happily eat sandwiches. I'm not sure if you could call what A does to a sandwich "eating it", but I'm sure that she does ingest some of it. Most of it ends up on her face. I can't tell you right off hand how many photos I've taken of her with her face covered with peanut butter or nutella from just above her nose down to her chin. I do know that there are many such photos, and I doubt that I'll stop taking them any time soon.

Back to the problem of food preparation, the list of the things that my children hate is long, and growing. The baby is the best eater of all, no surprise. Next in line is Daddy. His main issue is that he doesn't generally "love" the things that the kids will eat. So, okay, I'm playing to two audiences whose tastes vary tremendously. I'm not especially good at the 'pleasing everyone' routine. Most of the time, I don't even try to make everyone happy. The one thing that I know without out doubt is that I will never be able to pass off Macaroni and Cheese as a meal to my husband, not that I've ever tried. With my gall bladder and D's health conciousness, we try to use only fat free sour cream and go light on the cheese. T's favorite meal is chicken breasts in the crockpot with potatoes, carrots and peas with sour cream over the top and cooked all day. He likes it because the chicken tastes like it is canned. He likes pasta salad, too - but D doesn't do salad as a dinner entree, at least not while smiling. Every one in this family has their own "no way" items but they will also tolerate most meals - as long as they can pick out said items. Sometimes, they are really only picking out and eating the one or two things that they like. Feels like a big waste, but they are their own people. As a young girl, I personally remember sitting at the dinner table for hours because I wouln't eat split pea soup. I still hate split pea soup. Can't do it. I will never make it for my family. I'm sure that at least one of my children will taste it later in life and wonder why I never made it for them. That's the way it goes. After all, I do have to please myself, too.

Tonight is a spaghetti night because D & E are heading to a wedding reception after dinner and prep time is short. The need for a good fast meal is apparent. I'm getting to that place where I realize that food serves to keep my family alive. Cooking for a family of seven isn't something I do for an ego boost. None of them are starving. I call that success.

In my sleep

This has been a great experience for me. I have been able to do so much with so little. I venture only my time. I am actually rewarded emotionally for the effort of recording impressions and events. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to put into words the chaos which surrounds me almost constantly, as well as the joy that creeps in from time to time. I keep my blog entries in a journal as well, along with other things which I wouldn't want to share with the world at large. My blog serves an even greater purpose, however. By making itself constantly available to friends and family, I can communicate and bring a smile to someone, literally, in my sleep! The last time I was able to make someone smile when I was sleeping was probably my dad, from behind a camera. He loved watching us in those quiet peaceful times, and now I completely appreciate the motivation behind all of those photographs.
I kept the journal before the blog, but it was a completely different kind of opportunity. I was writing to record things for myself, to look back on and reflect upon at a later date. Now, I write to write. If my life is a pressure cooker, then this is the pressure release valve. My head and heart open up and all of the steamy air pours through my fingers onto the keyboard. It's something amazing that I never expected. It has added something tangible and good to my life. How often can you say that about something so uncomplicated and undemanding? If I HAD to do it, I might feel differently about it. As a leisure activity however, it provides fantastic mental exercise. The blog is now indispensable to me. It is a good friend, in and of itself.

Mother's Day is Here!

Today is Mother's Day. I know I'm lucky. I wanted to be a mother, and I am. There are many many women for whom one side of that equation is out of balance. I know of 4 particularly wonderful women in my own family whose desire to mother children of their own is almost overwhelming, and yet they have not been blessed wtih children. D and I have five beautiful children and hardly deserve them, but we truly wanted all of them.

I thought college was difficult. This, however, is the most difficult thing I've ever tried to survive. To be sure, the experience of raising these five children will bless me with the the equivalent of many doctoral degrees in the area of child, family and personal development. I've completed nearly twelve years of labwork and experimentation already. At this moment I could probably start an internet university focused solely on the cultivation of patience with four year olds. I have no doubt that there are many mothers who are mining the internet for gems related to this issue on this very Mother's Day. How can I be so sure? My own four year old is crying on the floor next to me because I won't come out of the office and be with the family. He doesn't seem to understand that I've been banned from that area of the house due to the fact that Mother's Day preparations are happening there. He doesn't care. He just wants me to come and sit on the couch and watch Arthur with him. "Come out of the Office! Whaaaaaaa!!! Come out of the OoOofffffiiiiIIce!" That's where the patience comes in, and I know I'm not unique.

One way that I am unique today is the fact that D has gone a bit overboard today. I can tell by the way he is busily rushing here and there, making sure that I enjoy every moment. This may very well be the best day of my entire life. I better get ready to really enjoy it.

D vs. the Sprinklers

This scenario has actually been more interesting than the full length movies that I've seen lately. First of all (put into movie context) this was a film that by all accounts, including that of its star, "Would Never Ever in 500 million years" get made. It all started with a leaky valve, and the fact that the sprinkers just weren't working. Then and there, our hero declares that there is no way on earth that he is going to mess around with the sprinklers - it's just way beyond his ability. I play a very supportive role to his "no way no how I'm gonna do that." After all, this man is great with computers, can make his way around the lawn with a mower, cooks fantastically when he feels like it, does his own laundry and can fix small childrens' bikes in a single bound but, I had to agree that this was nowhere near the land of his expertise.
There was not an in-ground sprinkler system at the last house. It is all completely new to us. Still, there's the internet and being the succor for a challenge that he is, he starts looking for information on our particular valves. He finds a store in town that carries the broken part, buys the broken part and installs it. Right here, I'm thinking, "Okay, he's already gone much much farther than I imagined he would. Very impressive. Make a big fuss." He finds another valve which is leaking slightly, and a sprinkler head in need of repair. Fixes them. All of the in between time, he's testing the system and continuting to grumble about how someone else is going to have to come and figure it out, because he's just not getting it. I am dumbfounded. He has worked out all of the kinks with the valves, AND started digging in the yard? MY MAN? When I pointed out to him that he had declared yet again, only 5 minutes prior, that someone else was going to have to come and do this. . .he smiles. Obviously taking a little pride in the fact that he WAS able to figure it out, he heads outside with a shovel and digs up a head which he believes to be non-functioning. After finding no leakage, he packs the dirt back down and instructs me to stand by the sprinkler while he turns it on. I have to admit that I do, in truth, trust him a little more than I ought to. Thankfully, it works fine, and I do not become a dripping mess. Must have been wrong about that one, glad to wrong. Moving on to the final frontier. There is low pressure to half the line in the parkstrip, and a gooey spot. When the water is turned on, the gooey spot become a mound. D, who is standing on top of it looks like someone bouncing on a water bed. "A broken pipe!" He actually seems excited. He turns off the water and starts to dig. He finds two areas of leakage. Interestingly enough, this time he does NOT say, "someone else is going to have to come and fix this." This time, he starts planning what He will do next, the way he will repair the other heads along that line which are not seated correctly and. . .that is how my computer whiz became my "yard guy," right under my nose and in plain sight.
I should have known when he headed to "Sprinkler World" (and I am not exaggerating) 20 minutes before Q's fourth birthday party was set to begin, that he had crossed a line. The sprinklers had officially become an obsession. I admit that I wasn't pleased at the timing but I am very happy with the result. From a big mess to functioning sprinkler system long before anyone would've been able to come and check the thing out. D is a very intelligent man, he is tenacious and hard working. He drives me crazy sometimes, like the three times this week that his dinner got cold on the table while he was doing valve repairs, after work. But how could I complain? He was doing valve repairs. HE was doing valve repairs. All things considered, and I do mean all things, I'm really glad that he's my leading man. I'm excited to learn about all of the other facets of D that neither of us has even contemplated yet.

I must be insane

I'm absolutely positive that I have heard from a number of different sources, credible ones, that mothers should place some of the housekeeping burden on their childrens' capable shoulders. The children should be able to keep their rooms clean, and help with other things around the house. I want to know how many of those credible sources have tried to get children to clean. All I have to say to that is "WHATEVER!" Other than unloading the dishwasher - which for some reason the boys do without too much pressure from me, if I want something done, I pretty much have to do it myself. If I'd like to involve my children, I do it with the understanding that it is at my own peril. The peril is mainly due to massive pressure which builds up inside my cranial cavity when I have to repeat myself inexcess of 100 times. Usually it is something like this, "You need to clean your room. . .get off of the computer, and get to work. . .no more games today, your grounded, get down there and clean it up, quit fighting, I don't care if he isn't doing anything you can't pound on him you have to come and talk to me about it I'm serious stop the yelling and sobbing and get to work you will not leave this house all weekend if you can't get this done. . .do it now!" And that is how a chore which should take 2 boys less than a half an hour becomes a half day affair involving the entire family. And what if there is more than one room to be staightened? Oh heaven bless us, what a pipe dream.

I asked the boys this morning why they thought their parents' room stayed pretty clean. Their response was "you don't have any toys." These are boys of eleven and nearly-nine. "You don't have any toys." I wish that were the answer. It would mean that I could just remove all toys from their rooms and be done with it. The problem is, they don't pick up. . .anything. The concept of cleaning is more than completely foreign to them. They have a clothes hamper - but all their dirty clothing ends up on the floor. (Even when the hamper is actually right next to them when they are taking off said clothing!) They have drawers, but their clean clothing ends up in a pile on their bed. When they are supposed to be cleaning, what they usually do is play with their legos - and since they never pick up anything - there are usually legos everywhere as well. I told them last night that I'm not coming down to tuck them in unless their room is clean. I'm sick and tired of crawling over clothes, legos, books and open drawers to pull the covers up over them and give them a kiss. There is much more at stake here than simply having a clean room. Their nightime comfort is also on the block. What T is freaking out over the most, however, is the fact that he won't be able to play with his friend this afternoon if he doesn't get something done. It's finally quiet down there, which means that they are probably playing with their legos.

Sadly for me, we have Q's birthday party in the morning, and that means that I've got to get the house under control, today. Interestingly, there really isn't THAT much to do! I had these images of everyone running to get their work done, and all the things I would be able to accomplish by noon. Well, I've cleaned a bathroom. Two other rooms in the house have suffered play-damage while I was working - which is the reason I refer to this whole scenario as a pipe dream. My bed is the only one made and I've still got all the laundry to fold, still. There is the pile of mail on the counter which I generally go through on friday. E and Q's room needs work. The living room carpet needs some spot cleaning - circles from a tire iron that Q brought in, and some barf from little A. I've got this tight feeling in my chest, and I feel a headache coming on. (Breathe, yes, got to remember to breathe.) I'm sure I'll be able to get it all done. I just didn't want to spend the entire day on it. That is exactly the kind of thought that makes me wonder from time to time about my own sanity. Clean an entire house with the children IN IT? I must be insane.

Time to Mow the Weeds!

Our lawn is more Dandelion garden than lawn at the moment. We haven't figured out the sprinklers yet - D is doing internet research on how to fix the broken valve. In the meantime, the weeds are having at it. I tried to kill them with the guaranteed spray stuff, but that didn't do much. We got a big bag of the good stuff to pour on, but it has to be watered in, so here we are. Researching. I told the boys that if they'd mow the weeds (the lawn truly hasn't started to grow yet), I'd take them to the batting cages and mini-golf. They are on school break after all, so we can really make good use of our time for work and play. Mom said she'd take Q and A. E is getting a free ride here because she can neither mow, nor use an edger - but wait! She can pull weed grass from the rock area to the side of the driveway. There are no free rides, not really. We want to play, we have to work. It will be a morning out in the yard. Can't hurt. I'm sure the Dandelions won't mind, not really.

Mother's Day is Coming

This year for Mother Day I put together some albums about my children, for their grandmothers. Here are some excerpts from the journaling - mini bios of my children, youngest to oldest, a "letter" to the grandmothers, and a short reflection on the past year:

A H C
December 27, 2005
What would we do without A? Her little smiling face, two big front teeth and sparkling eyes bring us so much joy. A IS joy. She is happy most all of the time. Even strangers notice how content and peaceful she is. Of course, like all people, she gets grumpy when she’s hungry or tired. At 16 months, she is starting to get some opinions. She knows what she likes, and one of those things is Chocolate! Her pouting skills improve daily as does her ability to communicate her needs. She asks for so little, and gives us so much love in return. What would we do without our A H? We would be very sad indeed!

Q X C
May 9, 2003
If Q had never come to our family, boy would this be a quiet place. There would be less love, too. I can’t count the number of times each day that he says, “Mom, I love you too.’ He doesn’t say it lightly, either. He means. It is surprising how much emotion he can put into those four little words.
Q is very strong willed. Full of confidence, he fights for himself. He can also be very obedient and quick to obey. Unfortunately, there is no label on his shirt to quickly identify which Q we are working with on any given day. Thankfully, the days of throwing food have long since passed. Although he can still whip up a tantrum on the spot, he is much more reasonable now than he was just a year ago. He is growing every day in so many ways. I must convince him only to use his super powers for good, and I’m sure he could save the world.

E M C
March 10, 2001
E is girlhood at its zenith. She is drama, sweetness, shrillness and beauty in one small busy package. She constantly narrates the story of her life and it is exciting, thrill a minute stuff. If you were listening to E you might hear her say, probably into a pretend phone:
“Reading is fun! I love my teacher.”. . . . “I love playing Moms and Babies, especially with my friends.”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “I like to have my hair done in buns, and look extra pretty.”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “My mom is the meanest mom in the whole entire Universe and I am never speaking to her again!”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “I love my mom and dad so much!”. . . . . . . “I am the Queen.”

C D C
August 17, 1998
C was baptized on September 2, 2006. He has learned a lot already about the Holy Ghost and repentance. As his mother, I have been impressed by his willingness to seek the Lord’s help and guidance at an early age.
C is smart and kind. His teacher says that he is a brilliant boy, and just needs to learn to focus. He likes to make people happy. He enjoys playing with friends, and makes friends easily. He’s sweet and tenderhearted.
He’d rather do just about anything other than chores, but works hard if it means he will get to play his favorite internet games. He enjoys playing soccer, and has a great kick. He likes playing defense and he’s good at it.

T D C
December 1, 1995
T has done well in school, and his teacher says, “He’s a great kid.” He’s been playing baseball this spring, and has learned a lot: balancing schoolwork with sports, and not giving up when it gets hard, and priorities. He is learning that work has to come first, because otherwise, it doesn’t get done. He is learning that a little extra work in the “helping Mom” arena, can really pay off. I appreciate all he does for me. He really helps to care for A, and she loves him.
T is a good friend. When we moved, the hardest thing for him was finding a new buddy, someone that he could connect with on an internet game level. Having found a friend, he is now learning about limits. He’s learned that you can’t just “tell Mom and Dad” what you are going to do, and that family comes first. T is a fantastic teen in the making.

The gift of children
I’m grateful to be able to share the gift of our children with you, their grandmothers. I’m thankful to have been the beneficiary of your love and experience. Raising this group of five will probably be the greatest challenge of my life. I believe that it will also be the most fulfilling. My children’s childhood is something wondrous and precious that I hope to protect. I hope to teach, love and cherish them enough that they will be able to come to know and feel the love of the Lord for them. I hope that feeling the Lord’s love will help them to face their own face their own Goliath in faith, and to overcome the way that young David did. Everyone has a Goliath, just as everyone one of us has the Savior. My prayer is that these children will be able to see in us, their parents and grandparents an example of faith and trust in the Lord which will inspire them never to give up, and to truly believe that they are loved, by God, beyond measure.

This last year
We’ve been through fall, winter and spring in our new home and we are coming up on summer. Soon, a year will have passed from the time we decided to put our house on the market and move. The past year has been difficult for everyone. The kids have loved their new school, but missed their old friends. We’ve tried to find time for them to play with old friends while they got more comfortable here in the new neighborhood. Quinn did not like his stressed out Mom and wanted “to be Grandma’s boy”, or move back to our old house. I guess that I’m doing better now, because he likes it here, and doesn’t talk much about wanting to “go home” anymore.
To me, the thing that has changed most has to do with our family, rather than our location. We have all grown a great deal in facing these challenges. I have a deeper appreciation for my children. I can more clearly see their strengths and weaknesses - all the things that make them unique and special. I feel like the children care more for each other as well. They are looking out for each other and are concerned for each other’s happiness. Even with all the hardships, I’d have to say that this was a very good move. I’m glad it’s behind us and that we just keep making this new home better as each day passes.

Marshalling the troops

T had a game scheduled for today, but it was rained out. We got the call about five minutes after we were supposed to have left to for his pre-game practice. No one is upset about the game being cancelled. It's FREEZING out there. I had visions of that scene in "A Christmas Story" where the mother bundles up the youngest brother so much that he can't put his arms down. . . only I'd have four children in that predicament. Now, the rest of the day is just cruise control. I'm going to try to marshal the forces and get some cleaning done in the basement. I don't think that I'll ever again be foolish enough to say "clean the basement", but I have enough spit and vinegar in me to imagine that we might enact some works of organization upon the space before the day has waned. We have already experienced a bit of success in the arena of basement organization this week, so my hopes are high. Don't they say that happiness is when what you want to do and what you have to do are the same thing? I guess I'm pretty happy today, then. I have all the time in the world to accomplish just a little bit of something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. We have been smiled upon today.

Licked

I'm so tired. My muscles just ache. I've been going on auto-pilot since about 7 p.m. when everything just seemed to shut down. The kids were pretty wild, but not hard to keep out of mischief. I can usually handle noise, what gets to me is stuff like floods in the bathroom or a huge mess in a room I just cleaned. The clutter factor is pretty huge right now and I know I've got a lot of work to do, but the fact is that I can't. I don't have it tonight. My body has clocked-out. That's not a great thing to have happen when you are alone with 5 children, but it isn't life threatening. I am accustomed to living on the edge, working on a moment to moment basis. I've learned to take things as they come, and put off the truly impossible until it can be truly licked.
I always have these little things in mind that I'd like to get accomplished on any given day. I've learned that those kinds of goals in a family like mine are of necessity very transient and fleeting things. The day brings with it its own work, and offers it's own blessings. Today, for example, I had planned to finish cleaning the basement with the help of my children. They were so well behaved, however, that I ended up working on other projects all morning. How often do I get 5 quiet children for hours on end? Not very often, it's just the nature of things. The quiet house was like a bull-horn in my head screaming "work like a mad woman". I was able to finish all of the Photoshop work I needed to do and I can now start compiling the albums we'll be giving our Mothers this year. Unbelievable.
I don't do things like this very often, very specifically because it is nearly impossible to arrange for moments like I had earlier today. If I had planned it, I guarantee I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. It seems like my children have some kind of predatory instinct when it comes to my time. If I have some project in mind, they have an equal an opposite need which trumps my plans. Today was special, and if I want to actually finish the albums, I'm going to have to arrange for babysitting. I want to have plenty of time to spend with the kids over their break from school. We can't 'vacation', which is a class A bummer, but there are things that we can do around here. We went to the biggest park in town this afternoon and it was just enough to soothe some of our "cooped up" craziness. My plan was very specific. Let them have some fun. Wear them out. They were asleep almost before their heads hit the pillow tonight. And speaking of tired, my eyes are a bit heavy right now, too. I'm truly licked, and it feels great.