Tonight T has a baseball game at 8:30 p.m.

I'm very interested to see how the younger children fair with this later game time. Luckily for us, two of my sisters and their husbands will be attending and you know that saying about many hands making light work. We are about T minus 2 hours right now and amazingly I have a better than average dinner ready to go. That turned out to be extra great because D is also home earlier than usual. That means we can eat, and take our time, bundle everyone up and enjoy a very interesting night under the park lights.
I have no idea what to expect. The little ones have been very active this afternoon and it's been a warmer than usual day. I have a good feeling about their being at least a tiny bit wiped out. That could be great! They might sit and watch. Last game, all three of the younger ones were running around like loose cannons. They rejected all efforts to contain them, which meant that we didn't get to see much of the game. That's okay. So Far, the entire experience has been quite positive. I was nervous about T's reaction to the pressure, but the positives outweigh the negatives. He has grown, and the challenges will serve him very well. He's usually very upbeat at game time. We'll hope that today will be the same for him. The only problem that I can see is that T has also been running around in the sun. So, HE might also be a little wiped out. That might not be good. Especially if he has to make the catch of his life tonight. I think he'll be excited about all the extra family there. We usually have very good attendance and I hope that makes him happy rather than nervous. He's been extra nervous at the plate lately, and his coach has told him that he MUST swing at anything good. His coach is the grandfather of one of his teammates. He really seems to care, and treat them equally even though their skill levels vary a great deal.
For now, it's time to get dinner on the table, so that we can "work the plan." I've loved the chance to go to the park, and watch my boy. I'm glad that he's interested in it because baseball was one of my favorite sports, too. I'm looking forward to tonight, and the rest of the spring. I'm also glad that this is the only 8:30 p.m. game.

Wacky Wednesday

E woke up thrilled this morning - not an especially common occurence - simply because today was "Wacky Wednesday". She was to wear her shirt inside out and if it was possible, some shoes that were too big. Well, we decided on inside out and backwards for the shirt. Tags right under your chin scream "I am totally wigged out". She wore some of my shoes, and it's frankly amazing that she was able to walk. She looked adorable in a completely disheveled kind of way, we took a picture and she beamed. How fun was that? Well, I got more than just a small giggle from the 2nd graders that noticed her on her way in to class. They stopped, looked, looked at each other, looked at her again - looked toward the car she had come from, looked at her, ther car, each other. I swear I am not exaggerating. It was sweet! You just don't get that kind of reaction from people. They were dumbfounded. They had no explanation. I asked her later if they had said anyting to her. (They must've been standing there all together for at least 30 seconds - E with two complete strangers.) She said that they hadn't, which I found surprising. Most often children are more than happy to point out anything that seems out of place. We all know it's true. Those two girls however, they finally gave up. I guess they just figured that the poor little kindergartener was so hopelessly out of it, they would just let her be. Like, "Whoa, there's not hope for this one. Walk away casually and try not to look."
E told me that her teacher was even wackier. This is a woman who understands the mind of five and six year old children. She loves to reward them and push their limits. She loves to see them grow. E isn't a particularly shy little girl. She has a lot of self-confidence. It wasn't easy, however, for her to change schools in the middle of her first year. She was brave, and she's been rewarded. We are about ready to start out last big off-track time before the end of the school year. I know that I've got to start preparing her for the fact that she won't be going back to Mrs. M's class next year. Over Spring Break, they were out of school three extra days. She had to make a card for her teacher to tell her how much she missed her. I guess I'll just have to up my game. I'll have to make life fun and challenging while she's out of school. Not that I feel I need to compete with her kindergarten teacher, just that I don't want to be miserable for three weeks while they're home. We'll have to have a wacky Wednesday and a Terrific Tuesday, a Flippin Fantastic Friday. . .whatever. We'll figure it out. Pretty soon, she'll be in 1st grade. Better enjoy her as much as I can because in August she'll be gone from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. - just like my big boys. A year from August, my Q will have a chance to be with Mrs. M. I can't wait to see what she does with HIM!

It's Spring Alright.

Spring brings with it a lot of crazy weather. Back in Winter, it was just mostly cold. Now that Spring is here, there are wonderfully warms days followed directly by snow. I had chosen a fleece top yesterday morning, only to find that by noon I was overheating. I was out in the open air, wishing that I had layered my sweatshirt with a T-shirt so that I could shed the long sleeved source of my discomfort. Now today, on the other hand, how the frigid wind was blowing! I hated to open up the front door, it was so cold! Even the children seemed shocked by the chill - probably because yesterday was so nice. My emotional world is much the same. First, I marvel at the flowers growing here and there. The next day, I'm wincing at the arctic breeze flowing through the front door. You can watch the news for the weather forecast. Emotions, however, are much trickier. Like micro-burst winds which drop in out of nowhere, they can really catch you by surprise. Surprises can be great, they can also be very upsetting. Surprises can bring with them emotions of all kinds. Sometimes the smallest little things can bring on a downward spiral of huge proportions. Thankfully, I haven't experienced that very recently. D is prone to downward spirals, however. His struggles affect me, whether I like to admit it or not. I suppose that in some ways, it could be considered an emotional weather forecast. When the wind starts blowing, you know that something is coming at any rate. I couldn't have predicted, however, that the boys would come home from school and be horribly disappointed at the thought of chores before playing with friends. I couldn't have predicted the emotional onslaught that followed the disappointment. It's hard to guess how long a child's tantrum will go on just like it's hard to know how long a thunderstorm will continue. Today saw it's share of crazy weather, indoors and out. It's bedtime now however, and time to bid goodbye to the turmoil. The rest of the week's outdoor weather looks to be of the wild variety: Sun, clouds, rain, sun and then rain again. Here's the clincher, though. Rain makes the flowers grow. Since I love the flowers, I'll put up with a lot of crazy weather. A little sun, a little storm, a bit of joy and some sadness, two sides to every coin, two halves to every whole - you just can't appreciate the
one without the other.

Saturday is a Special Day

When I was a little girl, we sang a song at church that started with the line, "Saturday is a special day. It's the day we get ready for Sunday." I was more than a little bit skeptical of that conclusion. Saturday was special because Daddy didn't have to go to work, and the pace was more relaxed. Today, it's the day I get things done without the usual chauffeuring of children to and from school. I cleaned all morning, except for the times I was checking on my ebay auctions. I had seven auctions ending today. That went well. (I really enjoy turning things I don't use anymore into money. It's just fun.) I finished up a big project on Thursday afternoon. It had been the cause of great neglect in the way of chores, although I managed to keep my children fed and clean and safe. Needless to say, I've got a lot to do in the way of housework on this fine Saturday, and that has been top on my list. I thought that today might be a nice day to go to the Tulip Festival at a local botanical garden, but I doubt there will be time. I'll have to do that with my mother next week.
For the most part, our Daddy "goes to work" in his home office on Saturdays. He almost always has a few hours of freelance work to do over the weekend. Today, he did exactly that, but now has taken his computer downtown to have the guys at the apple store check it out. He just called, and told me that when he got there the computer wasn't even starting up - a new symptom. To make matters worse, they told him the "insurance" he had for just such events wasn't valid anymore. The computer guys on the phone said that it WAS, so now he's got to get that figured out. The timing is more than bad.
It's been quite a week for disasters. E used the shelf in the mud room like monkey bars, and it all came down. It's a miracle she wasn't killed. Seriously, there was a full Craftsman tool box on the shelf. She could've been right underneath it, but she wasn't. The fact that she was in such an unsafe position has nothing to do with the project I mentioned earlier. I had run to the bathroom to get a hairbrush so that we could get her to school. I haven't had the slightest notion about trying to get into that room for the time being. It is completely overwhelming. The boys were messing around outside that same room later that evening and knocked our favorite clock off the wall. It still keeps time, barely. The "radio-controlled" feature that we liked is gone, but hey - it still ticks. If these freak events come in threes, then the fact that the computer flipped out today seems perfectly appropriate. Thankfully, we have other computers, faster better computers which will more than serve D as work tools. Also thankfully, we have a tax refund coming. It would be nice to pay some bills - but house repairs are right up there on the list of important things to accomplish. The mud room just jumped to the top of that list. Lawn repair probably should be on our list, but frankly, the state of the lawn is just one of those things I've chosen to put off. I don't even like to look out the back window right now. What we have back there is more of a dandelion field than a lawn. I'm not exaggerating - it just gets worse every day. Weed and feed will be our most valiant effort this year. Our neighbors will hate us. That's life. There's a lot going on inside our house these days. Someday we'll be able to devote more of Saturdays to the yard, but for now I guess we'll just have to keep focusing on the indoor part of the equation. Right now, the laundry is still waiting to be folded and people are going to need food again soon. Saturday IS a special day. It's the day we recover from all that happened earlier in the week, and try to hang on until Sunday.

I AM a Mom

Yesterday, I tripped on a bike in the garage and scraped every joint and appendage of this poor body.
I also received this little poem in an email. I realized this morning how many of these things have actually happened to me in the last year. I AM a Mom. There can be no doubt about it. There is only one thing that didn't ring true for me, that being that "I never knew that I would love being a Mom." I always knew. I didn't know that it would also be SO HARD, but it was my goal and my dream. Now my goal and my dream is to help them grow into responsible adults that can manage their own lives. Of course, as my own parents are - and have done for us recently - I also want them to know that I will always be there to help and love them. After all, I will always be their Mom. Forever and Ever. Amen.



Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Giving

Yesterday I had the best idea. I told E a while ago that I'd give her some stamps and stamp pads for her birthday. As I was sitting here looking at the ones I was going to put on ebay, I realized that the three smallest sets were perfect for her. They were also some of my very first sets, and so oddly even though I don't love them any more - they have a lot of sentimental value for me. Today, I told her to run in and get the three small sets that I had set aside. She was so excited. She was looking carefully at them. When I said that they would all be hers, she was so thrilled. "I can have all of them?" She thought that I was going to let her choose one. I remembered that I also had a bunch of small stamp pads, and that we had some empty canisters in the top of the pantry. I put 6 little stamp pads, the three sets that I had given her along with a few other stamps into the canister - E's stamping kit. She can hardly wait to use it. She thought she'd have to wait for her next birthday. I told her that it is hers now, for her sixth birthday - and that mom is just a little bit slow. The only stipulation is that she can only use it when I have time to supervise, and A is not in need of a lot of attention. "When is A going to go to sleep?" It's nice to be able to make a little girl's day with just the things that I have on hand.

I'm sure that if I think about it, there are many things that I could offer to my children which would make them very happy. I need to better use my resources, share with them and enirch their lives in the process. It wouldn't require anything but thought and planning. I can afford that.

Down from there!

Little A is at the stage where her mother feels the need to shrink wrap the dining table and chairs, for her safety. She has learned the usefulness of chairs, and the joy of that "high up feeling." She likes being high, and unfortunately there is no rehab program for infants who are learning to climb. There are emergency rooms, however, and we would like to avoid that at all costs. I'm going to have to keep her on a very tight leash for a while. If she is out of my sight, the next place I find her is on top of the dining room table with a big smile on her face. She is usually sitting with her back perilously close to the edge of the table and I have more than once had to sprint across a room to keep her from falling onto her head.
Yesterday, she walked up to the table and started to pull out a chair. I said "No No No," in that sing songey voice that mothers use to discipline tiny children. Take a moment. What was her reaction? Obviously it wasn't "Oh yes mommy. I understand. This is potentially very dangerous for me and I will stop this instant." Certainly not. I would love to hear from any mother whose child finds obedience so natural. I'm dumbfounded when my children hop obediently to any task they've been given. Dumbfounded is not an exaggeration. I'm fairly sure that D has found me in that state at least once and asked what was the matter. "Oh, T just obeyed." But, back to my precious tiny A. She did not obey, as I suspected she had other things in mind. She kept pulling out the chair, but added an ear to ear grin. She smiles a lot, but she pulled out all the stops for this one. I think that she fully expected me to change my mind and allow her the adventure. She is filled with self confidence, and I like that. I just don't like the idea of her landing on her head.
As a family we have been lucky. So far, knock on wood, we have had no broken bones or broken teeth. We've had some stitches and some dermabond incidents but even they have been rare. T's baseball coach broke some teeth as a kid while fielding a ball. I need to face the reality that at some point we are going to have some big accidents. In the meantime, I intend to do what any self respecting mother would do, and shrink wrap the baby onto my leg during the day. I want to see that sweet little smile, happy and intact, for the rest of my life. It is far too valuable to take any chances with. At least until she starts talking back.