Respect

I don't demand perfection from my kids, but I am starting to demand some respect. Respect for me and my time, respect for others, and respect for the rules. I don't intend to raise children with a ridiculous sense of entitlement. What makes a kid think that he or she should have everything delivered on a silver platter and never have to do a lick of work? Well, in my opinion it would be the parents who act like a personal concierge and butler service. Not my house. Not my kids. One of the best parents I've ever known is a single mom. She has raised such a respectful boy, it is jaw-dropping. I aspire to that. Our situations are not the same but good parenting is just good parenting. A parent is not a pal. A parent has to make the tough calls, and deliver the tough medicine. My children regularly tell me how mean I am, and from time to time they even go so far as to say that they hate me. I think of this as an indication that the medicine I'm delivering is indeed difficult to swallow and that I'm succeeding in my desire to steer clear of the buddy syndrome. I remember saying the same kinds of things to my own mother, who I knew all along was very excellent, loving and attentive. I aspire to be like my mother. I feel very lucky to have had her patient and tender example. She had six daughters. I have a few sons in the mix. Our situations are not the same, but she lives close by and is always willing bless us with her love. On the subject of tough medicine, I want my children to trust me because they know I will tell them the truth, but love them regardless. That's a pearl that my parents gave to me. They were honest with their children about their expectations even when they knew it would smart. People aren't perfect, and you can't schedule them into perfection. You can't force them into perfection. People need room to grow and change. Children need pruning, just like trees and shrubs. Some useless branches need to be cut out for the benefit of the plant's health and vigor. People need to be appreciated and thanked and held responsible. Those are some of the things I hope to provide my children. Life provides so many opportunities to teach, guide and direct. It is mostly just a matter of making sure you take advantage of the situations that present themselves. For example. Q has chosen today to find his way into my arms as I'm typing. That is a situation that I intend to take advantage of immediately. I intend to finish these thoughts and take him directly into the other room and read to him because frankly I can count the number of times in the last 3 + years that he has been willing to sit still. Parenting. It's such a mixed bag - just like everything else in the world that is actually worth the time you put into it.