I've got a little boy - well three little boys and two little girls to be exact, but tonight I'm mostly concerned with Q, my six year old son. His emotions swing in incredible ways, and baffle the adults charged to care for him. We cannot predict who we'll meet in the morning, a bright eyed loving first grader, or the one who will under no circumstances be tamed. This morning was an uncooperative morning. He didn't want to go to school, and there was no way we were going to talk him into it. Coaxing gently us generally the best method, and I am referring to a lot of tender loving care, not just a soft voice. In an hour, I had managed to move him to the idea of dressing, but I was exhausted emotionally. Mental and Emotional Gymnastics at their most strenuous, at least to me. I love him, dearly though - even in his crazy moments he is an amazingly loving person. He didn't want to go to school because he wanted to stay with me. He had missed me while I had been working. He just wanted to stay with Mama. When I get serious with him, he tries to act like he's afraid, but I know I'm not THAT serious. I didn't yell at him, but I was firm. He did get dressed, because I dressed him. We made it to school finally and once there, he hoped out of the care and went on his way, waving goodbye as though the previous hour was nothing. It leaves me a bit lost however, wondering how to focus his emotion in positive ways.
So, today after school, all five of the kids and I went swimming, and I remembered something important that I had forgotten. (Silly ME!) That child hit the water and immediately started to freestyle: Full Bore, as hard as he could, crossing the pool with relative ease. He jumped up on the other side with a big smile - and of course I was smiling right back at him. The boy is a FISH - let me say that one more time - F. I. S. H.
It was as though someone had put my head inside the Liberty Bell and started to hammer on it for all they were worth. Swimming Lessons. The boy needs swimming lessons. Soon. As often as and for as long as possible. He needs something to focus on, wipe him out, and LOVE. It reminded me that at about his age, I too had been let loose in a pool and adored every single second. I could feel his exhilaration. Everyone needs something to identify with and love, and feel very hopeful that this could be something that will bring him joy through his entire life, as it has for me.
5 comments:
I want J to have swimming lessons too. I think he is a swimmer. Do you think he is too young? Where are you going to do the lessons at? Does it cost money to join?
Have you tried starting a conversation over Coco-puffs (or healthier brand of your choice)about why he doesn't want to go to school? I found that Food for the getting out of bed part is the best motivator. Looking after my seven and eight year old cousins was a lot like what you describe. Sept with me they'd alternate the reluctant monster/chipper persona between school days. Their bedrooms were upstairs and during the winter the excuse used most of "I'm cold" ( I remember using the same excuse with my mother lol) or one would just put up a constant "slump" fight. Getting them thinking about all the stuff they'll get to do as soon as they're out of bed (for instance, being down stairs in the nice HOT kitchen, with a bowl of aforementioned cereal choice, and just morning talk. Each would have they're own individual issues about school and would want to talk about them, just didn't have the words to start the conversation. However, I was working with two girls. Children are smart today. Just thought I'd throw my two-cents in. :) (btw I i stumbled onto you blog via the 'next blog' tab. good timing)
that's sweet. Swimming rocks!
Sounds like you found a winner for your little Q. I am so glad he loves it :-)
i just started a swim class , he'll love it, poor little guy! we should do a playdate one of these dates, cole would love it!
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