Trust the Process.

Time is buzzing past me with unearthly speed! I hardly know what to think of it. My head is spinning. That's not a great feeling when you are trying to make sense of your life, sort things out and find a solid direction. I have a fuzzy direction. . . I know what I want to do. I just don't know how to make it possible. I have been given a great deal of very sweet and deeply touching advice recently, however. The two most poignant bits for me were A) to be grateful for what I have and B) NOT worry about what seems to be lacking. (This is SOOOO spot on for me right now it brings me to tears.) That could be considered one bit of advice but for me. . . they are the TWO most important things to consider. They are North on my compass . . . and I need to go North.

I can tell that I'm getting to a good, healthy place. I'm starting to be able to see things for what they are, what is important to me, and what I can let go of. The picture is starting to become clearer, in terms of the questions I need to ask, so that I can make good choices about that direction so that I can get where I need to go. For example, my health is important to me. I want a strong mind and body. I have a great deal of work ahead of me and I know I need to go into that physically strong, and clear-minded. It's time, and I've started. I didn't think I could let go of a job, but I'm thinking about that, now. I'm looking at going back to school full time. I'm looking for scholarships to make not having a job possible—and at admissions for next year. I'm going to get my house rented at my full mortgage so that it can be an asset rather than a drain on me financially. AND, I'm going to work hard THIS year so that I can be as prepared as possible for school. I'll go year round if possible. I want to get the most and best education I can as quickly as possible so that I can provide for my family and stand on my own. It is very important to me.

Those are exhilarating, air clearing thoughts. . . they are the reason that I know I need to look at my blessings and NOT at what is missing. As I said, I know what I need to do, just not how to accomplish it. . . and that is okay. . .and then there is this:

Consider the lillies

how they grow:

they toil not,

they spin not;

and yet I say unto you,

that Soloman in all his glory

was not arrayed

like one of these.

Luke 12:27

And this:

Trust

in the Lord

with all thine heart;

and lean not

unto thine own

understanding.

In all thy ways

acknowledge him,

and he shall direct

thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

And this:

Slow

Down.

Calm

Down.

Don't

Worry.

Don't

Hurry.

Trust the

Process.

Alexandra Stoddard

and one more thing—a really amazing and fantastic book about you and your brain. Obviously a relationship you can't afford to neglect!:

http://store.amenclinics.com/books/making-a-good-brain-great

I think that's probably all I need to say today. I think now, I need to get to work.

Ü