I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because my well laid plans have come to naught. I was quite comfortable with the path I was on, and I'm sure it was necessary for me. I never could have made the decisions I made if I didn't have some calm assurance that things would work out well for my children and I. I was confident that I'd be able to find a teaching job. The doors flew open in that direction and I felt very peaceful about all the steps I took on that road. Until, that is, I turned in all the applications and not one school or school district called. After a month of no calls, and hearing the grim prospects from the people I called, I had to face the reality that there was no happy ending to my plan. The economy has brought many certified teachers into the schools and there isn't a need for someone like me that would need to go through the certification process while teaching. The economy has also made fast work of my degree field - for me. Now is not the time to find a design position that would give me the the financial autonomy I'd need to stay in my home. There was a ghost of a chance I'd be able to find something which didn't require a degree, but which would still give me the means that I needed. In the bright sun of day, however, I don't believe in ghosts. It's just time to move on.
So, here is my plan. I am going to sell my house, and move in with my parents. It is very humbling.
I know that caring for my children was the greatest work I ever could have done, but it didn't prepare me well for the world I face now. I have to get more education. I don't mind school, I was always good at school. I will get started on a path which will allow me to work in healthcare, nursing more particularly. It will take a while to get through that, but I should be able to find work while I'm on that path. It's certainly not where I thought the Lord was going to take me, nevertheless, it is where I'm going - and I have to believe that it is good. There must be goals. There must be direction. Honestly, I can't say that I KNOW where I'll be in four years but at least I have a plan. Again.
. . and I know that He loves me.
4 comments:
You have got to be one of the most courageous and determined women that I have ever known. You have a very positive outlook on life and I really admire you for that. I also know that He still loves you...and he always will!
Go Abby! Those who you care for once you earn your new degree will be blessed to be under your care. Your family will be blessed and your sainted parents will help you hold it all together until then. And in the meantime, come and swim at my house!
You are so brave, so strong, and I love you for it. Thanks for sharing, I am touched by you.
Good for you and what a great choice of industry. A dear friend in my ward was about your age when she was going through a divorce and needed to support her children as well. Nursing has been the way that she has done that. She's in her 50's now and has all grown children and she's successful and happy. I see the same happening to you. It may take awhile but you'll be great at it!!
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