Favorite Vacation Spot

There is no vacation from motherhood, really. Eleven years ago tomorrow my eldest son was born, a beautiful 8 pounds and 6 1/2 ounces of you'll never be alone again. There are babysitters of course, and I am a firm believer in taking breaks. Motherhood, however, doesn't leave you alone. I believe that the heart of someone who has embraced motherhood is forever changed. Your babies are always your babies. As evidence, I cite the fact that my grandmother still speaks to her children in the same tones she used when they were her daily work. The voice of loving concern. She still thinks about her children and their needs even though most of her grandchildren are now parents themselves. Some of that must be habit. As the days of "I'd like to . . ." become rare, mothers become conditioned to thought centered around care giving. Most of my day is comprised of tasks generally understood to be homemaking which I squeeze between "Don't hit your brother" and "Have you cleaned your room?" There are seven permanent residents of this household, all of whom depend on me in some way to get them through the day. It doesn't leave much time for "I'd like to . . . " but I keep trying. We've been under a phenomenal amount of stress during the last six months. Due to the fact that my husband D is a hard-working type, our leave-the-house vacations are infrequent at best. Truthfully, the fact is that a trip with five young children isn't much of a vacation - at least mentally. For now, I'm really happy to light a few candles and sit in a nice hot bath - preferably one lavished with luxurious bath products. Away from the smell of whatever I cooked for dinner. Away from the sound of a washer or dryer - which is probably running. Away from telephone and television. Away from the needs of anything or anyone that has legitimate claim on me. A place to be quiet and hear my own thoughts. Heaven must have blessed my garden tub - it is as close to Maui as I'll be seeing for a while, but it might as well be a lovely suite at a five star hotel. Dip my foot in that water and in no time at all I have started to recognize bits of my former self shining through. I'd like to spend some time alone with D. I'd like to work on the kids' scrapbooks. I'd like to spend some time on the book I started a couple of weeks ago. I need to mend some socks. Hey - some habits are hard to break.